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Daily Iowan

The Daily Break

Issue date: 12/7/07 Section: Metro
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Put some effort into fixing up your surroundings. Money is in the picture and is likely to come to you through unusual means. A trip will pay off in knowledge and the people you meet.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may feel as if you are being pushed into something. If that's the case, back away. There is much to gain by being a silent observer. The experience will help you out in the future.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It's up to you to challenge yourself to be your best. Advancement is evident scholastically or professionally, whichever the case may be. Don't let the young and the old around you become a burden.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You can make some very important moves if you let your intuition lead the way. A passionate approach to whatever you do will bring you the results you desire. Change is good, so stop fighting it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You may get yourself into trouble if you meddle in your friends' or family members' affairs. Be the quiet observer; keep your thoughts to yourself. Travel may be beckoning you, but it will turn out to be too costly in the end. Listen to the voice of experience.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you venture into something uncertain, you may fail. Be careful when dealing with contractors or anyone working on your residence. Costs are likely to escalate rapidly if you don't stay on top of what's being done. A partnership change is apparent.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Travel or expanding your knowledge will help you out professionally today. If you are intent on getting things done to your specifications, you will persuade others to back you. Don't be afraid to take a different approach.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There is money to be made. It's important to push yourself to the limit today, and if you do, you will reap cash rewards. A change at home will be to your benefit long-term, so don't waste time worrying.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Secrets may be revealed if you haven't been honest. Be upfront. Be careful while traveling; taking a wrong turn could cause delays and setbacks. Focus on protecting your assets.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can tie up loose ends and solidify a deal you have been working on. Settlements, collecting debts, and taking care of legal concerns will all turn out in your favor. A change in your professional direction will lead to greater prosperity.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Make your decisions based on fact, not something you've conjured up in your head because of emotional upset. Love may be on the line if you have been hiding the truth. Clear the air before things get totally out of hand.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A deal can be put on the table, but don't be satisfied leaving it there for others to ponder over. Push for a promise, contract, or something in writing before the day is over. If you don't get what you want, pull back and rethink your strategy.

Things to do if you're stuck in Iowa City over the break

by Jonathan Gold


* Drive by on that singing Santa outside Bo-James. Ho ho ho, ho.

* Alternatively, you could hold the thing for ransom, but Leah Cohen might not negotiate with terrorists. Make sure you check first.

* Hurl a 2-foot slab of ice at next person to ask "Cold enough for ya?" Idiots.

* Create diorama of pink locker room and make GI Joe oddly uncomfortable for his upcoming battle with Cobra.

* Play that pants-crappingly awesome video game with all the plasmids in it.

* Realize, with alarm, that the ratio of presidential candidates to residents is now almost 1:1.

* Get thrown out of Mike Huckabee rally for shouting "Sooeee pig!" repeatedly. Honestly, you were just trying to be hospitable.

* Contemplate navel.

* Contemplate the fact that "navel" and "naval" are pronounced identically.

* Picture mighty fleet of bellybuttons sailing the seven seas.

* Giggle erratically at thought of "U.S. Navel Academy."

* Pull self together.

* Have bar all to self all over town.

* Drink recklessly and alone.

* Encounter law-enforcement officials.

* Reflect, while in your cell, that calling law-enforcement officials "doughnut-scarfing oinkers" may have been a lapse in judgment.

* Read Ayn Rand.

* Feel frightened and unclean.

* Learn dance from Spice Girls video

* Redouble feelings of fear and dirtiness.

* Wonder if "Dancing with the Stars" is making you dumber. (Yes, even if you don't watch it.)

* Thank lucky and unlucky stars that you can enjoy Iowa City without all the damn students in it.









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