Daily Iowan

Issue date: 10/19/07 Section: Opinions

It was in the midst of this thought that he noticed a girl gazing queerly at him from the top of her high-rise monitor of a Dell Inspiron. He quickly looked away, took a sip of his heavily sugared coffee, and returned to playing the flash version of Excitebike he had downloaded from a warez site. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as the Eurotrash diva walked toward him, her fishnet stockings and ripped jean skirt pulling at his carnal desires, impossible to hide in a place as eclectic as the Java House. Impossibly, she sat down next to him and crossed her arms. He pretended not to notice but couldn't fake it anymore when she leaned in and said in a low voice that was vaguely masculine, "I see you."

"Excuse me?"

"I see you," she repeated again in a more soothing tone.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I see you."

"Yeah I know, I get it. I see you too."

The UI student life mentor put two hands on his shoulders and said again, this time more slowly, peering into his lonely autumn soul, "No … I … see … you."

Martin Ebling broke down. The weight of his freshman year of college came crashing down upon his tender outcast soul, and he wept in fishnet girl's arms. Martin was no longer lonely. That night as he stabbed the Halo energy sword through RageBallz69, he yelled triumphantly into his headset, "I see you!"

The power of words is immense, but the power of recognition is infinite. I hope you enjoyed my story of loss and redemption. As with all Chicken Soup stories, it is entirely fictional and made to make those without a soul feel like there might be one rattling around inside.

DI columnist John LaRue will write you a personalized Chicken Soup, in exchange for your immortal soul. E-mail him at: john-b-larue@uiowa.edu.

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