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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Look over contracts, financial papers or medical concerns. Knowing what you are up against will make it easier for you to make decisions about what you can and cannot do. A move will be hectic but rewarding. Romance is in the stars.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Short trips will give you insight into future trends and how you can use your skills and talents wisely to get ahead. Don't let anyone control your life. Responsibilities will weigh you down. Do your best to get in shape.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Pick and choose wisely. Don't feel obligated to fight someone else's battles. Make changes that will improve your personal and domestic life. A professional or personal move will bring new opportunities and help you leave the past behind.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't be afraid to be different. Your unique approach to work, life and dealing with others will bring good results. A disciplined attitude will help where self-improvement projects are concerned. Start a fitness and nutritional regimen.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take action and make things happen. Call people who can assist you or who owe you favors, and initiate the changes that need to be made to get what you want. Make personal as well as professional improvements.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): An investment that appears too good to be true should be considered carefully. Practical applications will bring the best results. Use discipline when dealing with the temptation to overspend. Add to your assets wisely by choosing long-term proposals.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can make positive changes that will alter your relationships if you are open about what you want to see unfold. Don't let anyone bully you or lead you astray. Choose what you want, not what makes others happy.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Avoid anyone using manipulative tactics to play on your emotions or make you feel guilty. If you need a change, make it happen. Altering the way you live will give you the boost you need to head in a suitable direction.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Travel, adventure and all sorts of exciting changes will make your day. Get together with people who enjoy the same things you do. Making a point to do something special with your loved one will lead to personal opportunities.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Talks may not resolve matters, but they will help you get a better view of what is going on and who you should avoid. Don't get upset or show your feelings. Size up your situation and make your move secretively.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You'll get a lead on an interesting position. A partnership will sprout if you share your ideas with someone who is heading in the same direction as you. Love is on the rise, and romance will improve your future prospects.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't let mixed emotions throw you off course. An argument will be a waste of time. New connections can be made if you join a political or fundraising organization. Your empathetic nature will attract people who feel the same way as you. involved in activities with people who share your interests or are working toward the same goal.



Breaking it to 'em easy:

• I always worried I might break your heart. I guess that's why it's called a "self-fulfilling prophecy." Speaking of self-fulfilling, I'm going to need my, um, "toys" back …

• You know how sometimes we fight and then have great makeup sex? Well guess what? I found someone who I don't need to fight with first. Yay, me.

• You deserve to be treated better than this, and I'm just not ready for that.

• You've always reminded me of my next ex.

• We'll always have the memory of that one special night, even if we never have another morning. Unless you make eggs. I'll sleep with you again if you make eggs. And bacon. And pancakes.

• Our time together has just become more effort than you're — no, I mean it's — no, I do actually mean you're — worth.

• I feel like we're ready for the next step in our relationship. I'd like you to come to my next Scientology meeting.

• You're absolutely perfect … for someone else.

• In this fall … this is very tough … in this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and bang people in Miami. I feel like it's going to give me the best opportunity to bang hot people and to bang hot people for numerous years, and not only just to bang hot people in the regular season or just to bang hot people five days in a row or three days in a row; I want to be able to win the "banging hot people championship." And I feel like I can compete down there.

Andrew R. Juhl misters you.






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