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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Carry on with your plans. Don't worry if someone decides to do something differently. Make arrangements to get started on a self-improvement project that includes someone you love and want to share the experience with.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Ask questions if you want answers. No one will voluntarily give you information without a little prodding. Investigate your family history or the historic buildings in your neighborhood. Keep your expenses low in order to save for a vacation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your popularity will promote opposition and jealousy. Take an interest in others, even your enemies, and you will eventually win acceptance and support from those reluctant to see things your way. Love is featured, and romance is encouraged.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Valuable information will be offered. Embrace a challenge, and you'll be able to show off your abilities and skills. An unusual hobby will lead to a moneymaking opportunity. Check out cultural events going on in your community.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Step up and be responsible. The help you offer will impress someone you've wanted to get to know better or collaborate with for some time. Look for alternatives if you are faced with a roadblock. You can outmaneuver the competition.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Watch and wait for the right moment to make your move. Timing is crucial when you are dealing with people who are underhanded or trying to derail your plans. You should keep your plans a secret and make your move when no one is looking.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You should follow your heart and refuse to let anyone interfere with your plans. Emotional outbursts can be expected if you are too revealing or trusting. A short trip will help you find a quicker route to reaching your goal.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Strive to get your ideas heard, but don't be too quick to cut a deal. Time is on your side, and the ideas you come up with will help you turn a little project into something big and bountiful.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Take charge, and get things done. Once you've taken care of business, you will feel at ease about enjoying the company of friends or taking time out for personal pampering. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Look at the big picture. Refuse to let anything bother you. You have time to assess and plan strategies, so don't feel obliged to make a snap decision unless you are sure of the outcome. Sensitive issues are best dealt with diplomatically.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You are sitting in a better position than you realize. Chat about your ideas and plans, and take progressive action to turn them into a reality. Your gung-ho attitude will impress others and win their support.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Experiment with your ideas, and you will discover a way to make your dreams come true. Don't let what others say or do get to you. Stand on your own two feet, and do your thing. Success will be the best payback.

A partial list of things I should probably tell my girlfriend:

•You might initially think I'd be a pretty crappy boyfriend, but I'm actually pretty good at brainwashing.

•As of Christmas, my father has more Journey tattoos than my mother. For now.

•I can be pretty selfish. We're talking "chooses an eight-minute song at karaoke" selfish.

•My inner child is 62-year- old lesbian named "Frankie."

•If we get a half-pepperoni, half-sausage pizza, I will definitely make a joke about how disappointed I am that all the pepperonis and sausages are normal-sized.

•I'm the kind of boyfriend who will always be there when I need you.


•I'm an expert at hitting the snooze button on my phone's alarm clock with my nose, like a sleepy woodpecker. It'd be cute if I wasn't also covered in sticky drool and habitually late for work.

•I was abandoned as a child and raised by timber wolves. As such, I have poor social skills and am positively terrible at basketball.

•I'm addicted to that feeling you get right after you work out after not having worked out for six years.

Andrew R. Juhl wonders if any of this knowledge will be useful at the Micky's Bar Exam, 10 p.m.-midnight today.

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