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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Finish what you start. Once you have cleared your to-do list, you will be ready to reach new goals. An unexpected opportunity will surface. Embrace change, and discuss plans with someone you love.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take pride in the way you handle money and emotional matters. Build a solid base that will allow you to gain security and a higher standard of living. Only you can make your dreams come true.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Added responsibilities will try your patience. Understanding and compassion will be required when dealing with others. Don't let your emotional deception creep into an important decision you need to make. Love is in the stars, but honesty must be honored.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Examine your skills, what you have to offer, and how you can be more diverse in the way you present yourself. Update your résumé, or consider the best ways to turn what you enjoy doing most into a lucrative endeavor.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Get serious, and make a move. Procrastination will not lead to results. A change of pace, environment, and people will motivate you to show off your best qualities and aim to reach a higher standard of living. Romance is on the rise.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Avoid disputes that can affect your position or your personal life. If you criticize others, prepare to face complaints. It's in your best interest to view life and situations from a positive, not a negative, point of view.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Do what needs to be done without complaint. Get involved in helping others or volunteering for a cause you care about. Your input will be well-received and lead to a new opportunity. Take care of family responsibilities, and you'll be rewarded.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Size up your situation, and consider your options. If you aren't happy with what's going on in your personal or professional life, make a move. It's up to you to be responsible for your happiness and success. Don't rely on others.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't let personal matters get you down. Face any dilemma that comes your way honestly and without hesitation. Avoiding sensitive issues will result in turmoil you can do without. Face your problems head-on.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Make your home more comfortable, but stay within your means. Don't be tempted by fancy luxuries you don't need. A convenient and cozy place will lead to contentment and less stress. Do the work yourself if it will save money.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You will feel good about yourself if you do things for others. Love and romance are on the rise, and personal discussions can bring you closer to the people you care about most. A professional opportunity is apparent. Update and send out your résumé.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Keep a close watch over what occurs around you, but don't bring attention to what you are doing. Staying in the background will help you further your own interests. Don't let an emotional issue throw you off track.

First Lines of Novels with Key Characters Replaced with My D&D Character, VLARG THE IMPALER:


• It is a truth universally acknowledged that VLARG THE IMPALER, in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

• Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, VLARG THE IMPALER was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

• VLARG THE IMPALER, light of my life, fire of my loins.

• Someone must have slandered VLARG THE IMPALER, for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested.

• Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by VLARG THE IMPALER, these pages must show.

• In my younger and more vulnerable years VLARG THE IMPALER gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.

• As VLARG THE IMPALER awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

• VLARG THE IMPALER was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone 84 days now without taking a fish.

• VLARG THE IMPALER was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by VLARG THE IMPALER's charm as the Tarleton twins were.


• The man in black fled across the desert and the VLARG THE IMPALER followed.

Andrew R. Juhl will buy a drink for the first person to shouts "VLARG THE IMPALER" at tonight's Micky's pub quiz.

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