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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Check out the latest trends and job opportunities. Update your daily routine to include something that you find stimulating and progressive. A change in the way you approach your personal and professional dealings will bring good results.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Address problems, and discuss solutions. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. Completing a project will give you a chance to do some physical exercise. Once your work is done, enjoy a relaxing time with someone special.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Keep an open mind, but don't get dragged into a situation that is based on assumptions or can cause problems for you with authority figures or institutions. An older relative will have something wise to offer. Romance is in the stars.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You will face discord if you make impulsive decisions or back out of a project or arrangement without giving ample notice. Problems at home should be discussed openly and honestly before you opt to take action.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Doing something you find entertaining or inspiring will help you take care of your responsibilities. Make a couple of personal alterations to the way you live, and you will be one step closer to the happiness you are searching for.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put more time and effort into something that will bring you professional rewards. Trying to deal with personal issues will backfire if you try to force your will. Focus on the people, places, and projects that make you feel comfortable and stress-free.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Emotions will escalate, leading to a situation that will need to be resolved. Find out where you stand and what's expected of you. Situations that offer you a greater opportunity to advance will help you bring about a worthwhile change.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put all your talents to good use, and show people that you are capable of doing what you promise. Network, and share your thoughts, but don't exaggerate or make impossible promises. A physical presentation will get you further than a sales pitch.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't sit idly by when you can bring about positive changes to your life. Sign contracts, negotiate deals, and express your plans with someone you want to partner with. Love and romance will lead to a happier home life.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Address domestic problems, and take action in order to bring about changes that will secure your personal lifestyle. Don't let someone's emotional manipulation stop you from doing what you feel is necessary to reach your goals. Say little, do a lot.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Make financial changes that will help you gain through investments, adding new skills to your résumé or partnering with someone who has contributions to make. Romance will improve your connection to someone who is special to you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Implement improvements that will make your life easier and raise your standard of living. Use your imagination in a practical, efficient manner, and you will surprise everyone with your ability to make a difference. Simplicity and hard work will pay off.



Juhl 2024:

• In an effort to get more Americans interested in the global sport of soccer, MLS rules to be updated to allow games to stop and commercial breaks to be inserted every four minutes.

• My administration will forge an anti-gun alliance with interested leaders from other nations, calling it the International Rifle Association, so nyah nyah nyah-nyah-nyah, gun nuts, I win.

• While I understand that people who work at McDonald's want (possibly need) a $15/hour minimum, I would increase the salaries of our medical professionals, first. Sure, this might send our already high health-care costs even higher, but this is the 21st century, people -- and I for one think that it is absolutely atrocious that so many of our nation's finest doctors can't afford borders.

• Pound cake will be named America's official national desert as well as my standing 4 p.m. scheduled activity suggestion.

• Census forms will include expanded default options for race/ethnicity (e.g., "White, but not, like, proud of it or anything — I definitely have a few black friends"), sexual orientation (e.g., "Straight, but I can get a little bi on the weekends"), and religion (e.g., "Atheist, but not a total dick about it").

• Across-the-board, there will crackdowns on recreational hunting regulations. Hunters will be expected to clean, cook and eat ANYTHING they're licensed to hunt. On the bright side, this will make that Ghost Hunters show either go away or finally become interesting.

Andrew R. Juhl votes no confidence men.






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