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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take care of personal paperwork, taxes, and other pressing contractual, medical, or financial matters that are hanging over your head. Personal changes to your appearance or an important relationship will bring you satisfaction and happiness. Romance is highlighted.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Tidy up loose ends. Make changes that allow you to benefit financially. Cutting corners or spending less on things you don't need will help ease your stress and get you back on track. A problem from your past will surface.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You'll be faced with an unusual dilemma, or you will discover someone hasn't been truthful with you. Keep your thoughts to yourself until you have all your facts straight. Personal changes will help take your mind off a stressful situation.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A secret matter will turn into a fiasco if you aren't careful about handling information or dealing with a colleague. Don't make an impulsive move that has the potential to take up your time and cost you financially.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You won't see situations clearly. Reacting too quickly or making a big deal out of nothing will result in a dispute. Challenge yourself physically, or do something for the benefit of your community, children, or an older friend or relative.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Channel your energy into honing your skills, learning, and discovering information that will give you an edge. Network with people who have something to offer in return. Don't let your personal life slow down your productivity.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Get together with people you have worked with in the past, or join forces with someone who has something to contribute to one of your pursuits. Love is on the rise, and romance will enhance your personal life. Believe in yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Communication problems will arise. Someone is likely to overreact or embellish the information shared. Don't act on hearsay, or you may end up involved in a situation that can put a damper on your reputation. Focus on honing a skill.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You can get ahead financially if you stick to a strict budget. Don't be tempted by a fast-talking salesperson trying to profit at your expense. Moderation will be a must if you want to reduce stress. Make simple but effective changes.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can make changes, but do your homework and do things right. Don't be swayed by someone you are trying to impress. Speak from the heart, and you will grab the attention of someone who will offer guidance and support.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Problems will arise if you get involved in community disputes. Remaining neutral will give you an edge. Focus on your home, family, and what's most important to you. Romance and family activities should be high on your to-do list.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't back down or give in. Avoid interacting with people who don't share your beliefs. An emotional matter will escalate if you interfere in a friend's or relative's personal problems. Be a good listener, but don't share your opinions.



Future American Coats of Arms:

• A half-empty, economy-sized bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, a half-empty bottle of Yellowtail merlot, and sweatpants — on field of Netflix scarlet.

• A hand with a blinged-out mani, clutching a vodka-cranberry-Red Bull — on a striped field of alternating fakebake orange and pink velour.

• Two Bichon Frisés, rampant, wearing little cheerleader outfits — on a checkered field of Diet-Coke and Match.Com logos.

• A married couple on a beige couch, both checking Facebook on their phones in complacent silence — on a checkered field of smart-phone apps.

• A row of prescription bottles positioned over the masks of comedy and tragedy — on a field of subdued gray.

• Grilled cheese, served on a butter dish next to cheap beer — on a checkered field of unpaid bills and student-loan notices.

• Calvin peeing on Calvin peeing on Calvin peeing on Calvin — in a shrinking spiral fractal.

• Two stunted children, strapped into human harnesses, leashes held by parents in a helicopter, hovering above — on a repeating field of Mickey Mouse ears.

• A single teardrop, bursting into flames — on a checkered field of donkeys and elephants.

• A pristine gym membership card, already expired — on a striped field of ketchup, mustard, and barbecue sauce.

• Married homosexuals, rising phoenix-like from a smoldering pile of burnt handguns — on a repeating field of crying Bill O'Reillys.

• The Amazon smile-arrow — on a field of the blackest black imaginable.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks BR, DH, EJ, and KJ for contributing to today's Ledge.






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