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ARIES (March 21-April 19): A change of location, as well as in your financial situation, is likely. Take care of taxes or other paperwork that could affect your future. An older relative will need help. Connect with past business associates and an opportunity will develop.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Help someone in need. Don’t fret over the little things. Overreacting will lead to setbacks. An incident will alter the way you think or live. Don’t make physical or emotional changes. Do the necessary research and proceed with caution.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You may feel like shaking things up a bit, but if you overdo it or you are impulsive, you will end up making a mistake you’ll regret. Stick to what you know, and protect your assets.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t fear change. Use your intelligence and memory to help you maneuver through whatever you face. Your intuition is on point, and with proper application of your skills, you will advance. Don’t let personal matters interfere with your productivity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take care of your responsibilities so that you can get on with the things you enjoy. You’ll discover valuable information from someone you encounter in a competition. Love is in the stars, but don’t let it cost you financially.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A proactive approach to whatever you do will help you set a high standard and bring about favorable lifestyle changes. An emotional situation must be handled carefully to avoid a mishap or loss. Don’t be fooled by someone’s sob story.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A change will take place in your personal and professional relationships. Do your best to keep the peace until you feel you have the upper hand. Reconnect with people you feel have something to offer you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Forget about what’s going on around you. Don’t let anyone coerce you into something you don’t want to do or can’t afford. Focus on home, family, and stabilizing your situation as well as altering your surroundings to better suit your needs.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Look at the big picture, and make changes that are worth your while. Avoid anyone trying to push you into being impractical or overindulgent. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Strive for greater security, not on accumulating more unnecessary stuff.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Avoid unpredictable people or anyone trying to force changes you don’t want to make. Look at your situation at home, and figure out a way to cut corners. Lowering your overhead using creative accounting will also ease your stress.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Listen carefully. You’ll be inclined to hear what you want to hear instead of what’s being said. Step back; consider the changes that will help you the most. The plan should be to get ahead by doing something you enjoy.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your intuition and imagination will be overactive when dealing with emotional matters. Avoid being judgmental, and you will be less likely to face opposition from others. Don’t lose sight of your goals and plans.



Helpful Homework Hints

• Commercials and intermissions create more than enough time to complete any homework assignment.

• Lilo & Stitch stickers will liven up even the drabbest of term papers.

• If you use two computers, you can procrastinate twice as fast.

• You can retain more information if you relate everything to video games, alcohol, or episodes of “The Simpsons.”

• Need another source? You can write an article on Wikipedia and then cite it.

• Writing papers can be mucH more fun If you eMbed cOvert Messages in them.

• All math problems can be solved using the formula: 42*(problem number^2*room number)/(date assigned + TA weight in grams). Because of this fact, math TAs are fired if their weight is discovered.

• Every group project will have a slacker. There’s no use in complaining; it’s actually part of a good group dynamic and improves teamwork among all non-slacker members. But still, these are group projects, so always be sure to call dibs on the slacker role, unless you want the extra work.

• At this university, any presentation delivered in a British or Australian accent is automatically awarded 5 percent grading bump, 10 percent if it rhymes.

• If you can find one of those elusive No. 3 pencils, do all your Scantron tests with it. The machine will become frustrated when it can’t read your answers but will mark them all correct rather than risk looking stupid.

• All historical figures, from all centuries and locations, are still only seven degrees removed from Kevin Bacon.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Nathan Wulf for the material in today’s Ledge.






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