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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Someone who is jealous or ruthless will try to outsmart you. Don’t be a follower — it’s up to you to size up situations and find solutions. Trust your judgment and get things done. Your take-charge attitude will win points.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’ll receive mixed messages. Don’t get involved in a debate or a physical confrontation if you aren’t prepared to finish what you start. A loss of respect will result if a personal secret is revealed. Protect your reputation and your position.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t limit the possibilities because you don’t want to express your true feelings. Say whatever is on your mind and offer suggestions that can help turn your ideas into a reality. Believe in yourself, project your style with confidence and forge ahead.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t feel the need to donate or help others when it’s your own wellness that should concern you. Be smart and make a point to eliminate unhealthy habits. Get informed and strive to make positive lifestyle changes.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t get angry or flustered -- get moving. Make changes to your surroundings or search for information that will contribute to your advancement. You can win favors and points if you make good use of your talents. Romance will lead to good fortune.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Stay on top of rates, loans and changing economic issues that can affect your personal financial situation. Be proactive and ferret out information that can help you make wise decisions regarding your professional direction.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Check out any investment that promises to help you improve personally, professionally, or financially. Working alongside someone you feel close to will help you bring about the changes you want to see happen. Embark on a new beginning.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Stay in sync with your creative ideas, and don’t let what others are doing sidetrack you. Your imagination will not let you down. Emotional matters can lead to financial loss or poor choices. Don’t make a financial commitment you cannot afford.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Listen carefully when it comes to emotional matters. Someone will offer important information that could alter a decision you have to make. Concentrate on the changes you want to make at home. Working alone will bring the best results.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can help your community, but don’t let anyone take advantage of you or prompt you to donate too much. Put time and effort into your home and personal surroundings. Don’t let a love interest cost you. Be discreet.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you take part in industry events or networking with people you have worked with in the past, an opportunity will present itself. Romance is in the stars, and letting someone special know how you feel will enhance your personal life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t be fooled by others. Take care of matters yourself, and you won’t have regrets later. A slower pace will give you a chance to consider other options. Keep your personal and professional lives separate. Expect emotional interference.



Thoughts on Thoughts for a Bad Hair Day by Mary Ellen Edmunds:

• “Decide what a beautiful day it’s going to be before checking the weather.” Message: Delusion is the true path to happiness. And soggy pants.

• “If everyone in the world would gain 10 pounds, we’d all be closer together.” Let’s hear it for leading the way, America.

• “When you’ve got all the merit badges, there’s not much worth sticking around for.” Message: Success and camaraderie are overrated.

• “Pure gold fears no fire.” Pure gold has no emotions, you silly twit. Maybe if you’d quit likening yourself to anthropomorphized precious metals, you’d understand why your skin is so thick and coarse.

• “Tell someone you plan to love them for a long, long time.” Message: Set someone up for disappointment by promising them things you have no way of knowing whether you’ll be able to come through on.

• “You cannot hide a change of heart.” True. Unless you wear a shirt over the large, disfiguring scars on your chest and abdomen.

• “Always be at least an inch nicer than is expected.” OK, but that’s going to require some pretty low expectations from a lot of women.

• “New friends don’t happen that often.” Message: You should feel seriously sad for this lady.

Andrew R. Juhl bought the pocket-sized book Thoughts for a Bad Hair Day at a consignment store for 25 cents. It was almost worth the money.






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