|
New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Avoid getting into any sort of dispute. Being agreeable will help you wiggle your way through a situation without loss. An opportunity is apparent regarding a friendship or money matter. Take care of business, and get ready to advance.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Learn all you can from others. Listen carefully, ask questions, and decide which information works best for you. Keep your emotions in check and your temper under control. Showing respect for a friend, lover, or business partner will ease tension.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Open your heart and your doors. Make friends feel welcome, and offer help to those in need. The experience will be enlightening and spark an idea that will encourage you to follow a lifelong dream. Don't be reluctant to make a move.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Be social, even if you don't want to be. It's the people you meet and how you present what you have to offer that will make a difference. Follow the path that makes you feel the most comfortable. Love is highlighted.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Keep your thoughts and emotions tucked away to avoid getting into an argument. Don't expect everyone to like the choices you make. Focus on the mental and physical changes you want to make that will help you excel.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't be lured into something that doesn't feel right to you. Pick and choose your activities and responsibilities carefully. Offer only what you know you can handle. Concentrate on learning and upgrading. Romance is in the stars.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Accept a challenge, and make adjustments to protect your assets and important partnerships. You will make a lasting impression if you share ideas and offer solutions. An opportunity will arise through someone you have worked with in the past.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take care of business. Don't judge others. Concentrate on home, family, creativity, and comfort. You'll get word of an opportunity from down the pipeline. Consider a way to use your skills to fit what's being offered. Leave time for romance.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You can make headway where investments, settlements, or legal, financial, or health matters are concerned. Good timing will help you buffer any mishaps as long as you do your own fact-finding. Positive changes at home will pay off.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't be unnerved by what others do or say. Keep your thoughts to yourself, and put your energy into enhancing your skills, appearance, or business connections. Home improvements will turn out well, adding value and comfort to your environment.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Consider your dreams, hopes, and wishes, and look into ways you can turn them into a reality. Don't let anyone discourage you or make you feel defeated before you get started. Jealousy is likely to surface if someone feels threatened by your progress.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Be creative with your cash. Avoid paying too much for anything. Stifle anyone putting demands on you or hurting your chances to advance. Abide by the rules to avoid unnecessary setbacks. Romance will improve your personal life. ‬‬‬‬‬‬



My 12 Greatest Fears:

1) Sneezing while tweezing my eyebrows, causing me to lose an eye.

2) Falling off a ladder and landing on a sharp object, eye-first.

3) Giving a speech to a large audience of people who want to eat my eyes.

4) Being asked to cut the ribbon at the opening of a new mall, dropping the scissors, and impaling myself through both eyes while reflexively trying to grab them as they bounce off the ground.

5) Spiders that lay eggs in my eyes while I sleep.

6) Getting an injection, except for anywhere on my body that isn't my eye.

7) Being abducted by a superior and heartless alien species and forced into the titular role of an ultra-realistic production of Oedipus the King for their amusement.

8) I unintentionally piss-off the Bride, and she plucks out one of my eyes.

9) I take my eyes off the prize, but the prize gets mad and takes them back.

10) Eyes without a face.

11) The possibility that the entirety of my reality is the manifestation of a dream someone else is having, meaning that neither me nor anything else is real in any meaningful way, which would include my eyes, too, I guess.

12) Clowns, man. Clowns.

Andrew R. Juhl wonders what's behind those hazel eyes.






>> Click here to submit an event!


In today's issue:





 
Privacy Policy (8/15/07) | Terms of Use (4/28/08) | Content Submission Agreement (8/23/07) | Copyright Compliance Policy (8/25/07) | RSS Terms of Use

Copyright © The Daily Iowan, All Rights Reserved.