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ARIES‭ (‬March‭ ‬21-April‭ ‬19‭)‬:‭ ‬An emotional issue regarding work is likely to arise.‭ ‬A straightforward approach will be in your best interest.‭ ‬Look at the positive side to whatever situations you face, and you will find the best‭ ‬course of action to take.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

TAURUS‭ (‬April‭ ‬20-May‭ ‬20‭)‬:‭ ‬Don’t make assumptions or play a guessing game with someone who can influence your future or your reputation.‭ ‬Offer everything you can to ensure you come out on top.‭ ‬Try to control your situation instead of being controlled.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

GEMINI‭ (‬May‭ ‬21-June‭ ‬20‭)‬:‭ ‬Make a point of lending a helping hand,‭ ‬and you will reap unexpected rewards.‭ ‬Don’t let anyone lead you in the wrong direction regarding a work-related problem.‭ ‬Learn from experience, and do what you feel will resolve the issues you face.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

CANCER‭ (‬June‭ ‬21-July‭ ‬22‭)‬:‭ ‬Get whatever job you’ve been given out of the way.‭ ‬Keep a low profile, and refuse to let anyone force you into a debate.‭ ‬Concentrate on your needs, and do what makes you feel most at ease.‭ ‬Protect yourself physically,‭ ‬mentally, and emotionally.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

LEO‭ (‬July‭ ‬23-Aug.‭ ‬22‭)‬:‭ ‬Put your intelligence to good use.‭ ‬Using brains over brawn will bring the best results.‭ ‬Travel and communicating with friends and family will spark good ideas that can counteract someone’s attempts to disrupt your plans.‭ ‬A minimalist approach will pay off.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

VIRGO‭ (‬Aug.‭ ‬23-Sept.‭ ‬22‭)‬:‭ ‬Have fun.‭ ‬Taking part in a social event or expanding your interests will improve your state of mind and bring about ideas that can help you improve your skills or your looks.‭ ‬Love is in the stars, and romance is encouraged.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

LIBRA‭ (‬Sept.‭ ‬23-Oct.‭ ‬22‭)‬:‭ ‬Don’t procrastinate‭; ‬make the changes that are needed to improve your life personally or professionally.‭ ‬Take the plunge, and start something new.‭ ‬Don’t let emotional issues stand between you and your success.‭ ‬Discussions will bring good results.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

SCORPIO‭ (‬Oct.‭ ‬23-Nov.‭ ‬21‭)‬:‭ ‬Don’t be too trusting.‭ ‬Keep personal information a secret until you know exactly where you stand with someone.‭ ‬Love is highlighted,‭ ‬but overreacting will stand between you and romance.‭ ‬Keep your thoughts to yourself.‭ ‬Offer affection,‭ ‬not criticism.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

SAGITTARIUS‭ (‬Nov.‭ ‬22-Dec.‭ ‬21‭)‬:‭ ‬You’ve got what it takes to make things happen.‭ ‬Live up to your potential, and make the improvements to your situation that will bring you greater satisfaction and joy.‭ ‬Nothing will happen unless you make it so.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

CAPRICORN‭ (‬Dec.‭ ‬22-Jan.‭ ‬19‭)‬:‭ ‬Say little and do a lot.‭ ‬Take action,‭ ‬but don’t expect everyone to be happy with‭ ‬the decisions you make.‭ ‬The changes you make at home or to your personal life will be beneficial in time.‭ ‬Don’t back down.‭

‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ AQUARIUS‭ (‬Jan.‭ ‬20-Feb.‭ ‬18‭)‬:‭ ‬Make an effort to position yourself strategically, and you will achieve the advancement you are looking for.‭ ‬Anger will not help you,‭ ‬but intelligence will.‭ ‬Speak your mind, and offer constructive solutions that will separate you from any competition you face.‭ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

PISCES‭ (‬Feb.‭ ‬19-March‭ ‬20‭)‬:‭ ‬A passionate approach to whatever you do will lead to success.‭ ‬Speak from the heart, and don’t give in if there is something you want.‭ ‬It’s up to you to stand firm and implement what you want to see happen.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

A partial list of things I should probably tell every prospective girlfriend:

• I like to blow my cigar smoke out while standing with my hands on my hips so I look like Superman using his ice-breath powers.

• Unlike most men, I do not have a nickname for my penis. I refer to it by its full Christian name: Maximillian Hammercock Juhl.

• I have spent years refining an educated, sophisticated taste in Legos.

• I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy. I think it’s appropriate that we wait until at least the third date before I bend you over a cotton gin and have my way with you.

• People are always unjustly accusing me of having a persecution complex.

• After sex, I think it’s important to always have an honest discussion with each other about who won.

• I haven’t hit my rock bottom yet, but I’m finally almost willing to admit that I have a mining problem.

• I am absolutely devoted to any woman willing to be in an open relationship.

• When we go someplace nice, don’t expect me to dress any higher than to the sixes.

• What I look for most in a woman is someone who has a sense of humor about being incredibly attractive.

• I brush three times each day. My teeth are so white they own a timeshare in Branson.

• If truly loving you is wrong, then I will never be wrong.

Andrew R. Juhl is monolingual and ready to mingle.

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