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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Keep life simple, and you can reach your goals. A new job or an opportunity to make extra money is within reach. Express your ideas clearly, and interest in what you are doing will follow. You will impress someone influential.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Keep a low profile. Don't be too vocal about the changes you want to make. Work behind the scenes instead of trying to present your ideas before they are ready. Timing is crucial. Trying to take on too much will lead to disappointment.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take care of unfinished business before beginning something new. Stick to what you do best, and the rest will fall into place. Make changes at home that are more conducive to a project you want to pursue. Strive for greater financial security.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't let what others are doing distract you. Do your own thing, and let your imagination and originality take over, and you will come up with a unique contribution. A change in a relationship will turn out to be beneficial.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Go about your business, and make changes that suit you and promise greater success or happiness. Following through persistently will pay off. The experience you gain now will help you out in the future. Invest in yourself, not someone else.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put your time and effort into self-improvements, learning, and enhancing your skills. Don't let anyone discourage you from following through with plans that will lead to a better you. Demanding individuals must be kept at a distance.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You can make things happen. Join forces with people trying to make the same improvements or changes that you are, and you will make new friends and accomplish your goals. Good fortune will be yours if you follow through.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Someone will get in your way or cause problems if you neglect your responsibilities. Use unusual methods to get around a situation that has the potential to be costly. Put time aside to do something enjoyable with someone special.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Look over contracts or personal documents, and you will find a way to save some cash. A home-improvement project or using your place as a source of income will ensure a stable financial future. A competitive challenge will motivate you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't rely on anyone for anything. Stick close to home, and avoid getting involved in disputes with friends, relatives, or neighbors. Personal improvements will bring the highest return as long as you don't go over budget.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Look around, size up your situation, and take action. Making a move will ensure that you stay ahead of the competition. Don't fall for a sales pitch offering a product that claims to work miracles. Use your skills to increase your income.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Question what you are being told. Don't make any plans without doing your homework. Changing your appearance shouldn't cause anxiety. Do what makes you feel comfortable, and don't worry about what someone else thinks you should do.



Things you would love to say to an ex:

• So, who are you getting all your rides from these days?

• You weren't the worst person I ever dated in a lot of ways. For starters, you were easily the best liar.

• Yeah, I heard a dreadful rumor going around about you. I started it, too, actually.

• You always wanted the Moon, but I think your eyes were bigger than your stomach. (Though, to be fair, your stomach has caught up quite a bit.)

• Dating you again would be like flirting with disaster. No, actually, dating you again would be like drunkenly making out with, awkwardly sleeping with, then foolishly marrying disaster in Vegas.

• I would have never called you a whore; that would've made it sound like you cared enough to find a job. You're really more of an unpaid genital intern than an actual prostitute.

• On the plus side, dating you for so long probably kept me from making some even dumber mistakes and probably catching something chronic — like a child.

• Funnily enough, I also regret your losing your virginity to me …

• But hey, lesson learned: Never date anyone who uses "lol" as a sentence-final punctuation mark.

• I hear you've been busy catching a lot of Pokémon. Or was it STIs? I honestly can't remember which, but it sounded so exotic and just so you.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks his friends and lovers (gross) for help with today's Ledge.






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