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ARIES (March 21-April 19): A personal change will be in your best interest. View your situation realistically, and do what's best for you. Follow your heart, and believe in yourself. Love is on the rise, and your charm will attract someone special.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Offer assistance to someone who is having trouble grasping a skill required to get ahead. Your kind actions will result in a long-lasting friendship that will present many benefits in the future. It's what you do, not what you say, that counts.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Jump into action, and get things going. Your original way of seeing and doing things will attract interest in what you are trying to accomplish. Getting involved in a cause you believe in will encourage new friendships.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Stick to what you do best. Don't let criticism slow you down or ruin your self-esteem. Work quietly on a creative idea, and you will make headway and regain your confidence. The youngsters in your life will bring you joy.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You've got what it takes to make things happen. Be the forerunner by making suggestions or setting up plans and events, and you will enhance your relationships with the people who can influence your personal and professional goals.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Examine your financial matters. If you haven't been happy with the investments you have or a deal someone has offered you, take time to renegotiate or make changes that can help you do better in the future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You are best to take control and stay on top of any situation with a business or personal partner that needs addressing. Facing concerns honestly and with diplomacy will help you avoid future concerns. Love is in the stars.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Emotions will be difficult to contain. If you love someone, let her or him know. Make positive changes at home, but don't do so without getting the go-ahead from someone who has to live with your decisions. Stick to a set budget.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You can make positive changes at home. Taking steps that will improve your living arrangements will enhance your love life. Reconnecting with people from your past or making vacation plans will inspire you to take care of your responsibilities.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't feel pressured to do something you aren't prepared for. Observe what others do, and you will get a better idea of the motives involved. Avoid emotional confrontations. Protect your assets.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take time to tie up loose ends. Go over your personal paperwork, and look for opportunities that can lead to a higher income. Focus on yourself, your skills, and following your dreams. Romance will enhance your love life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't cut corners, or someone will criticize you. Problems while traveling or dealing with superiors will develop if you are evasive or misleading. Do your best to explain your intentions to avoid a misunderstanding with someone who can disrupt your plans.



Facts that everyone should know:

• James Madison was, by far, our shortest U.S. President. Dude had no patience whatsoever.

• Even though Jesus was Jewish, he couldn't write comedy to save his life (though, to be fair, he wouldn't have written comedy to save his life, even if he could have).

• The current canine and feline surplus in the United States has been linked to at least one specific cause: lots of freaky-deaky pet sex.

• Worldwide last year, nearly 100 million people sang karaoke who shouldn't have.

• Butterfingers contain absolutely no butter and rarely ever an entire finger.

• The 13th-century Toltecs used wooden swords in battle so that they wouldn't kill their enemies. There were no 14th-century Toltecs.

• The movie 40 Days and 40 Nights is actually only 96 minutes long.

• Chocolate can kill a dog. So can a crossbow, but it's harder to find in a pinch.

• Before the doll's redesign in the year 2000, a real-life Barbie would have had three extra cervical vertebrae, 33-inch hips, a 29-inch waist, a 39-inch bust, and a date every night of the week.

• Queen Elizabeth II, the cruise ship, uses more than 5,000 percent more diesel fuel than Queen Elizabeth II, the monarch.

• Despite the fact that there are 17 distinct historically significant negotiated documents titled "The Treaty of Paris," I still hate the French.

• People aren't born homophobic — it's a conscious choice.

Andrew R. Juhl gave a mouse a cookie once. He liked it.






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