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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't mess with people who can influence your future. Do whatever it takes to get along without compromising your integrity. Listen attentively to others. Being accommodating will help you get what you want in the end.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Get ready to make a crucial move that will help you establish your direction and your position. Forget about what has happened in the past, and remain focused on what you want. It's up to you to improve your life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Listen to what others have to say. Ignoring good advice will result in a mistake that you'll regret. Anger and aggression will not solve problems, but practical solutions will. Be the bigger person, and you will make a difference.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Partnerships will take on a new direction. Observe what others do and say; you will be able to make wise decisions. Traditional means and methods are not always the best route. Consider every angle, and proceed with confidence.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Money will come from an unusual source. The decisions you make regarding finances, health, and legal matters are best based on facts and figures. A past partner will try to influence you. Be strong, and do what's best for you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't let your heart rule your head. You will be set back by comments and criticism. You'll have to decide whether what is said is constructive or meddling. An outsider is likely to see your situation much clearer than you do.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take the path that is free of conflict. Problems at work will arise if you have been mixing business with pleasure. You are best to make adjustments to a relationship that is crossing boundaries and could make you look bad.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't believe everything you hear. Listening to someone's boasting may be intriguing, but it will not benefit you in the end. Focus on your own ideas and plans; you will make progress. Romance will improve your day.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): All eyes will be on you. Keep a low profile, and don't make promises you cannot deliver. Emotional problems will escalate if you aren't honest about the way you feel. Protect your emotional and physical well-being. Use your head.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Go after your dreams, hopes, and wishes. Love and romance are elevated, and a commitment can be made. The more you do to please someone you care about, the easier it will be to get your way. An agreement will pay off.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Sort through your possessions, and get rid of what's no longer relevant. Selling unwanted items will bring in a little extra cash, giving you incentive to purge more and spend less in the future. Positive change is heading your way.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Observe what everyone around you is doing before you make a move. Someone you least expect will set you up for a fall. Don't let anyone take you for granted. Embrace the changes that are necessary and inevitable.



Re-examining a Few Well-Known Sayings:

• "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." Actually, a bird in the hand is worth $15,000, or my name isn't F. Scott. Paystoomuchforbirds III Esq.

• "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it." Also, be careful what you fish for because you just might net it. Also, be care what daily humor column you write, because you might just turn into a punnier version of your father.

• "If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, chances are it's a duck." And if it's not a duck, it needs both speech and physical therapy suggestions.

• "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." So, if I'm "my own worst enemy," then the enemy of my enemy is me, which means that I'm both my own friend and own worst enemy, and that sounds like a conflict of interests, quite frankly.

• "Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime." And give a tree $1, you've wasted a wasted $1. But teach a tree to make dollars, you've created a sentient tree and steady revenue stream.

• "Smile, and the world smiles with you." Mostly because they're afraid you're insane and might go off at any second — but still, at least everyone's smiling.

Andrew R. Juhl fishes for birds like a duck.






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