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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Direct your energy wisely. Keep your mind on what's important, not on what others are doing, and you will reach your goal. A social encounter will spark a renewed interest in something or someone that you used to find inspiring.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don't take anything or anyone for granted. You may know what you want to do, but expect to face opposition. Don't be daunted by comments or criticism. Focus on finishing what you start and accommodating others only when possible.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don't expect to receive help from others, and you won't be disappointed. Making changes to your home or professional direction will turn out to be a good investment. Learn new skills, and don't let a personal relationship limit what you can do.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Get down to business, and you will excel. A partnership will be problematic if you are too compliant. Don't make a hasty decision that can have costly results. It's OK to do things differently or to follow your own path.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You may be all wrapped up in your personal relationships and trying to make changes to the way you live, but you should be focusing on financial and contractual matters that have the potential to turn costly.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. Someone will use personal information against you if you are too open. Take time out for self-improvement and raising your level of confidence. Don't give in to emotional blackmail or demanding individuals.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don't fight the inevitable. Go with the flow, and see where it takes you. The changes that take place will turn out surprisingly well. Use your intelligence, and take advantage of an emotional opportunity. Don't limit what you can do.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Follow your heart, not what you hear. Gather information, and come to your own conclusions before you make a choice. A change in the way you do things will help you avoid someone who wants to take control or shove you aside.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Listen carefully, but do your own fact-finding. The information you gather will clear up issues you have been concerned about, allowing you to move forward and make positive personal changes at home. Act fast and finish what you start.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take care of pressing family matters. Get involved in your community, and you will be able to control the outcome of a situation that could affect an investment that concerns you. An old friend or lover will give you something to think about.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Emotional matters will surface. Don't put off what must be taken care of immediately. You can't move forward without clearing a path. It's out with the old and in with the new. Raise pressing issues, and secure your future.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Get involved in organizational events that allow you to meet interesting and informative individuals. Sharing your thoughts will spark interest and lead to unexpected opportunities. Mix business with pleasure, and you'll make a new and very valuable acquaintance.



Misusing a Time Machine:

• Go to one week before the finale of the "Sopranos," write a blog post detailing how you think the show will end, and BLOW EVERYONE'S MINDS WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT.

• Every six months, jumping forward six months so your car stereo always displays the right time.

• Showing H.G. Wells one of the many mediocre film adaptations of his work.

• Calling Babe Ruth's home run and Lou Gehrig's disease.

• Travel past the unsurvivable part of the rebirth of the Universe. Now, there really is no escape from immortality, Idiot.

• Going back and placing exorbitant bets on the outcome of every M&Ms color vote.

• Being able to tell every creationist, "Why, yes," when they ask, "Were you there?"

• Buying throwback jerseys at throwback prices.

• Writing science fiction that's COMPLETELY SPOT ON, but juxtaposing the names to just to mess with everyone in the future.

• Trying to kill Hitler (it's a noble goal, sure; but if you fail, then Hitler has a time machine).

• Putting yourself in the background of every famous photo ever taken.

• Watching the complete run of "ALF" uncut, before those syndication hack jobs removed so many jokes that even the DVD sets never recovered.

• Be the first person to post FIRST in the comments on Every. YouTube. Video. Ever.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks JM, ESJ, TD, AL, BR, MK, and KW for contributing to today's Ledge.






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