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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Step outside your boundaries, and you will discover you have more going for you than you thought. A challenge coupled with a little competition will spark the incentive to improve and excel. Love is on the rise.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Listen carefully, and ask questions if something confuses you or seems far-fetched. Emotions will run high and should be channeled wisely if you want to avoid a misunderstanding. Moderation will be in your best interest in all aspects of life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Keep your mind on your goal, and avoid being tempted to let someone take care of something that requires your undivided attention. Love is highlighted, and romantic plans will ensure that your personal life heads in the right direction.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Look over your personal papers, investments, and how safe your current position or standing in your community is with regard to long-term benefits. Communication can help clear up any misconceptions you have. Let your intuition guide you when it comes to partnerships.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Check out your options, and take care of responsibilities early in the day to allow time to address the things you want to do as the evening rolls around. Romance is apparent, and socializing or making plans for two will pay off.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): No matter what task you are given, take ownership, do the best job possible, and you will advance. It's up to you to make things happen if you want to impress someone who can help you advance. Show your value.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Plan a gathering or social outing. Get together with people who have something to contribute, and brainstorm to come up with a plan to advance. Romance will greatly improve your day if you put aside some time to spend with your loved one.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't make a move or share too much personal information. Work on a creative project that allows you the freedom to indulge in the things you enjoy doing most. Take care of responsibilities, but avoid demanding people.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Talks will lead to greater knowledge and insight into what everyone around you wants, thinks, or is planning to do. The changes you bring about personally will help you advance and improve your standard of living. Love conquers all.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Run your ideas by someone who can offer assistance or help you identify any flaws in your plan. Taking a different path to reach your goal will help you outsmart the competition. Take charge, but don't let impulse cost you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Find someone who is willing to listen. An experiment will help you reach your ultimate goal. Opportunity is within reach, making it vital that you do not procrastinate or leave anything to chance. Love is in the stars.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A fresh look at an old idea will help you see problem areas. Present what you have to offer to a diverse group of people who can and will appreciate what you are proposing.

Hipsterized Sesame Street:

• Cookie Monster spends most of his free time playing SNES with his cousin, Craft Brew Monster, and has been a gluten free vegan for at least three years. #GFVnomnomnom

• Bert and Ernie only live together because of their overwhelming graduate-student loan payments, but make no mistake: They are OUT and PROUD lumbersexuals. #NoH8

• The Count is pretty much unchanged, expect for the vape pen … and that he keeps appearing in Wallpaper Magazine spreads with Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton.

• The Fraggles? Yeah, I liked them a lot more when they were underground.

• Guy Smiley hosts travel shows in which he crisscrosses America, looking for the best cupcakeries and artisan cheeses.

• Prairie Dawn has been renamed "Ashlynne Kaileiygh."

• The Honkers only play songs by the Lumineers and/or Jonathon Coulton.

• Kermit has a mustache (handlebar) and a beard (Ms. Piggy). … Of course, that was before Ms. Piggy was sacrificed for the greater good (to satiate Bacon Fever).

• Every day's show is now brought to you by the letters P, B, and R and distributed exclusively on Instagram.

• The monster at the end of the book is always a Republican trying to cutting all funding to PBS.

• Oscar the Grouch now lives in a recycling bin next to a trash can. He's a big player in the Found Art scene, but he never shuts the frack up about composting.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks AL, PS, DT, LVE, and SAL for contributing to today's Ledge.

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