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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take on more work, add your own unique touches to whatever you do, and you will impress others and be encouraged to continue. Investing in something you want to pursue will lead to greater involvement with institutions.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take a stance, and do your thing. You can turn an idea you have into a prosperous venture. A partnership will offer more than you anticipate. Do the work yourself, and save cash. How you handle others will determine your success.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Love can lead to confusion. Consider the consequences if you mix business with pleasure. Don't make personal or physical changes based on secondhand information. Add extra detail to any job you do to ensure security and success.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't be afraid of making a move, joining a group, or expressing yourself. You will entice others to see things your way. Work situations will lean in your favor if you are passionate about what you do. A partnership will undergo positive change.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Expect to face opposition. Keep your conversations to the point. Don't leave room for error or make impossible promises. Take a closer look inward, and consider how to look and be your best. Protect your possessions and your health.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You can make changes at home or to your location if you look into job prospects that offer a better income. Expect someone to complain about whatever decision you make. Do what works for you. A change will improve your social life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Problems at home must not interfere with your job. A change with regard to an important relationship may be upsetting, but in the end, it will be good for you. Don't trust anyone with your personal secrets. Keep the peace.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Offering assistance is fine, but don't let anyone take you for granted or cost you financially. What you do at home will make a difference to your stress level. Comfort, entertainment, and being creative will aid you in your pursuit of happiness.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Others might not understand what you are going through, so try to be patient. Be wary of confusion and temptation. Don't initiate something that you will have trouble finishing. Make the right choices in the appropriate order.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A unique approach to professional changes should be put into play. Taking part in events related to your chosen field will lead to an opportunity. Get an offer in writing, or you will have to fight for the deal initially offered.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Be careful if you plan to represent or speak on behalf of someone else. Misunderstandings are apparent, and they will put you in a precarious position. Moving forward will be easy if you follow proper procedures. Don't rock the boat.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Pursue your goals wholeheartedly. You will get your way if you act quickly and follow through. Don't let a personal issue cloud your vision. Protect against mishaps that can lead to injury or illness. Financial gain is in the stars.



Warming up for Thanksgiving:

• I'm thankful that I've been able to remain creative without the help of street drugs, Faustian pacts, or aural self-mutilation.

• I'm thankful that peppermint schnapps on your breath is so easily mistaken for peppermint mints on your breath.

• I'm thankful that Microsoft PowerPoint allows me to read my paper off a screen, 50-80 words at a time, and pretend like I'm actually giving a presentation.

• I'm thankful that the bathroom at the gym has three stalls, heavy traffic, and great acoustics.

• I'm thankful that the FBI hasn't figured out this is an alias yet.

• I'm thankful that I don't need to be in wetsuit shape to surf the web.

• I'm thankful that at least Netflix understands me.

• I'm thankful that my pants keep getting tighter and tighter because it lends credence to my theory about the existence of mischievous laundry gremlins.

• I'm thankful that the new Star Trek movie looks like it's going to have tons of angsty sex scenes and a moody, brooding Spock because, hey, SCREW THE CANON.

• I'm thankful that I now get nine days off to recharge the humor battery of my hybrid comedy engine … and to think of better, more lucid analogies.

Andrew R. Juhl is thankful that he still has so many wonderful and close friends, even after intermittently writing bad things about them in this column for the last 10 years.






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