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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't let an emotional misunderstanding turn into a temper tantrum. Curb your reactions, and focus your energy on what you can do to feel better about yourself and what you have to offer. Confidence will help you overcome any mishaps.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Make sure you can afford the purchases you make and the entertainment you engage in. Too much of anything will lead to a problem with a friend, lover, or relative. An unpredictable turn of events will work against you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Unusual circumstances will arise with regard to donations or helping others. Make home improvements geared toward entertainment, but don't overspend. Renting to someone to help cover your costs will help you get your finances back in order.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Address partnership issues. Voice your complaints instead of letting your hostility grow. Once you clear the air, you can create an atmosphere conducive to accomplishing your goals. Adding a little spice to your life will make you more appealing.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Do your own thing. Don't ask anyone to tag along; you will find it difficult to get what you want out of your journey. Question a relationship that continually holds you back or disagrees with your choices.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Learn as you go. Your ability to pick up information intuitively will help you gain ground and impress someone who can help you advance. Discussing your plans and following through will show that you mean business.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stick to what you know, and focus on work and how you can earn a decent living. Don't expect to please everyone, but do your best to set your sights on what will bring you the greatest joy and rewards.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Communication will be the key to getting what you want. Sharing your thoughts and opinions will give those in a position to help greater insight into what you want to accomplish. Positive alterations at home will promote greater creativity.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Put business before play. Once your financial affairs are in order, you will know what's left over for fun and games. A change at home can lead to good fortune if you invest wisely and maintain your budget.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't make changes without permission. Partnership problems will arise if you aren't open about the way you feel and what you want to do. A project that will take you in a new direction looks promising, but will require a life change.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Direct your energy into making the changes necessary to improve the way you earn a living. Consider new ways to use your skills, talents, and knowledge in a new and diverse manner, and you will find a new source of income.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Focus on investments, contracts, and how you can use your talents to bring in more money. Negotiations will favor you if you use your imagination to promote what you have to offer to others.



Random Thoughts:

• They say that brevity is the soul of wit, but I don't know. Wit is just an idea; does it really have a soul? I guess Plato would say it does, but you know where he is now? He's dead.

• Maybe I should stop turn- ing my opinions into jokes. Then people will never know my real opinions. I'm like the boy who cried sarcasm.

• What defines a "big rack" on a woman? On a deer, I'd say anything over eight points. But on a woman? Probably more like 14.

• Brilliant idea for an ener- gy-conservation/efficiency consultant agency name: Use- LessTM Consultants. There. It's in the ether now. First one to the Patent Office wins.

• According to a recent study, Americans will believe any- thing if you say it's from a study and it makes them feel superior to others.

• I love commercials that pretend to be real-life con- versations. It's usually like two women in a kitchen talking about periods or something, and then one of them just starts straight-up dropping obscene amounts of knowledge and product specs about Kleenex or some such fluff. "Did you know that Kleenex is made with 17 percent recycled organic alpaca wool?" Well, I do now, Crazy Lady Who Talks Like Nobody Ever Talks Ever.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Matt Gorman for providing material for today's Ledge.






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