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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take control, and do your thing. You’ve got what it takes to dazzle your peers and superiors. Let your intelligence and cooperative attitude shine through, and your desire to advance will come to fruition.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Moneymaking ventures will pay off if you act fast, but don’t go over budget. Keep your deals simple and interesting. A career opportunity will lead to good fortune. Use your charm and know-how to promote a skill you have to offer.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Focus on happiness and self-improvement. Expand your interests, and make your surroundings conducive to pursuing your goals. Share personal thoughts, and make plans that will enforce greater incentives. Don’t mix business with pleasure.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Networking will pay off, so don’t sit at home when you should be mingling. Love is in the stars, and discussing plans with someone you think is special will help you build a relationship based on goals you share.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Stick to your plans, and use intelligence when dealing with family or your lover. Taking in lighthearted entertainment or engaging in an activity that will challenge you physically or take you to an unfamiliar destination will broaden your horizons.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Invest in your skills, your home, and your future. Don’t be too eager to make a decision or give in to someone else’s plans. Stay on course, and use your experience to fine-tune your next move. Keep your emotions well-hidden.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Speak from the heart, and listen to the suggestions offered, but don’t act in haste. You have time to mull over the information you gather, and you shouldn’t feel pressured by anyone giving you an ultimatum. Your experience will prove to be a lifesaver.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are on the right track, so don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise. Keep your dreams intact and your vision clear. Taking a route that is unusual or unorthodox will end up being in your best interest.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You need a pick-me-up. Renovate, redecorate, or take a day trip that will help lift your spirits. Emotional matters can sway either way depending on the company you keep. Make plans to have fun with someone who makes you smile.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You will face opposition concerning matters that deal with educational, financial, legal, or medical institutions. Ask for any promise in writing. A last-minute change must be handled cautiously. Don’t be afraid to pull out of a deal if it doesn’t feel right.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Think before you act. Someone will try to goad you into doing something by not giving you enough time to consider the pros and cons. Believe in your abilities, and opt to go it alone if you feel uncomfortable.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You will come in to money or find a way to raise your income if you are patient and pay attention to the circumstances. Love is in the stars, and a promise made will lead to greater happiness.



Halloween Need-to-Know Week — Vampires:

• Vampires can be separated into two camps: happy vamps and sad vamps. Their mottos? “Be Positive” and “Be Negative.”

• The Muppet vampire, Count von Count, is based on actual vampire myth that vampires have OCD.

• Some nations’ governments prevent parents from naming a child “Hitler.” In much the same way, vampires aren’t allowed to sire anyone named “Gilroy.”

• An all-blood diet means the vast majority of vampires have astronomically high cholesterol. If faced with a vampire, do NOT give it Lipitor. That will only help it, not you.

• According to popular fiction, vampires are extremely attracted to women with absolutely no agency.

• Despite recent advertisements claiming otherwise, there are no vampires running to be Iowa’s next senator.

• Wooden steaks are not useful under any circumstances.

• Vampires are the only creatures who hate mornings more than my wife.

• Impaling people was not such an unusual profession in the 15th century as to require a nickname to note it.

• Vampires don’t actually like bats, but most vampires’ neighbors hate bats, and most vampires hate their neighbors, and so most vampires possess bat thralls in order to annoy their neighbors. Vampires are contrarian d-bags.

• For “good” vampires, drinking pig’s blood is like a human drinking an O’Doul’s.

• All vampires are blood relatives.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks contributors of the Ledge Crowdsourcing Facebook group for the material in today’s Ledge.






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