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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You can wiggle your way out of a sticky situation if you opt to make a work-related alteration to your schedule. Don't feel you have to take direction from others if you can see an alternative that suits you better.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You'll be uncertain about what to do next. Avoid overspending or you will be faced with conflict. Partnerships will be challenging if you cannot come to an agreement or an arrangement that works for both of you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A change of attitude will make your life easier. Making compromises and concessions will help you avoid opposition and pave the way to success. Use your intelligence to get your way, but avoid giving false information.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Discuss your ideas and share your plans and vision, and you will be well-received. Good suggestions will be offered and a partnership formed. Love will take an interesting turn that sparks your imagination. A secret will be divulged.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You aren't likely to draw positive attention. Expect to face conflict and even some deception along the way. Being fully prepared with your facts and figures to back you up will help you gain respect and trust.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Walk down a different path than you have in the past, and you will see the world in a unique way. Take action and do something to give back to your community. Opportunities for growth abound, and love is highlighted.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don't hesitate if you see a career opportunity online. Send out your resume and do whatever it takes to get an interview. Sometimes it's necessary to stand out in a crowd in order to get noticed.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't feel limited by change when you should be using it to your advantage. By recycling, reusing and refusing to let expenses climb out of control, you will reach your goal and set the stage for what's to come.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Choose adventure over something routine or familiar. Make alterations at home or to the way you live and you will get a burst of energy and enthusiasm to engage in activities that stimulate and push you to strive to reach your goals.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Put more thought into career goals and how you can make positive changes without hurting what you have worked so hard to build. Make choices based on what works best for someone you love. A move will be satisfying.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Focus on money, health, and legal matters. An unexpected change will throw you off guard. Don't let your emotions lead you down the wrong path. Keep life simple and your choices realistic. A united front will keep a relationship on level ground.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Get moving. Money is heading in your direction. Don't hesitate to collect an old debt, make an insurance claim or ask for a loan. Love is in the stars, and a commitment will lead to a happy and fulfilling future.



Lies I’ve gotten people to believe while they’re drunk:

• The first pinball machine was invented 1937 by Julius Pinball.

• The credit card was in- vented primarily as a way to fill those little slots in most wallets and purses.

• There is only one nonscientific word containing three “q”s in the English lexicon — the noun “aquoqueqiuto.” Aquoquequito are the brown spots found on overly ripe bananas.

• B.B. King’s full name is Bra- dacious Bafflegod King, which explains why he goes by his ini- tials ... and why he mercilessly slew both of his parents at the tender age of 12.

• In the United States, 47 wom- en die in each year from holding in their flatulence.

• Before entering politics, Vladimir Putin was a successful stage actor; he even starred as Troy Maxson in a West End revival of August Wilson’s Fences. David Hyde Pierce was his understudy.

• “WKRP in Cincinnati” was actually set in Cleveland. Also: in the unaired pilot, Dr. John- ny Fever’s original name was “Tommy Pyrexia, MSW.”

• The diacritic dot over a lower- case “i” or “j” is called a booble. • Nobody knows for sure if “Hank Aaron” or “Hank Aron” is the correct spelling.

• The green side of a Scotch- Brite scouring pad is made of woven goat pubes.

Andrew R. Juhl once played mi- nor-league ball for the Detroit Red Wings.






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