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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Do your homework, and don’t be afraid to make a change. An opportunity is in the stars, but relocation or a lifestyle change may be necessary to take advantage of it. Go after your dreams instead of giving in to others’ demands.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do what pleases you the most. Don’t wait for an invitation or for someone else to take charge. A creative opportunity will play into your plans. Unanticipated changes are likely to occur, allowing you to do something unique.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Think matters through carefully, and you will maintain control of whatever situation you face. Expect to be tested on an emotional level. Show your strengths, and you will come out ahead. Don’t hesitate or miss a beat.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t hold back. Prepare to travel if necessary. Interacting with people will help you make a convincing presentation regarding your ideas and plans for the future. Weed out who is in and who is out by the responses you get.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take care of a serious situation early in the day so you can move on to happier moments. Consider your options, and you will find a solution that suits you perfectly and encourages you to follow the most enticing path.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Avoid an angry encounter. Confusion will set in if you are pushed into a corner. Don’t ignore your responsibilities, but don’t allow anyone to make demands or dump chores on your lap that don’t belong to you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Dealing with institutions, banks, government agencies, and authority figures will be challenging but revealing. A change in the way you feel and the direction you want to head will cause conflict with someone who tries to make choices for you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Call in favors, and approach people who can help you reach your goal. Make life-altering changes that will help you gain greater freedom. Times are changing, and your time to get ahead is now, so take the initiative.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Stay on top of situations that are in the midst of developing. You can raise your standard of living by identifying and then making the most of any exciting new opportunities that come your way. Don’t let an emotional matter escalate.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Tread carefully when dealing with friends, relatives, or traveling. Your best recourse is not change, it’s compromise and protection. Make sure your assets and possessions are safely tucked away from anyone who may be looking for a handout.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Secure your financial position. You have plenty going for you, so don’t let someone with a negative attitude slow you down. Making a move or having a serious talk about your future will lead to forward motion.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Make plans to tie up paperwork and secure your personal financial position. Money is headed your way, but a lack of discipline can turn your profits into a loss if you overspend or are careless with your money.

First Lines of Novels with Key Characters Replaced with My D&D Character, VLARG THE IMPALER.


• It is a truth universally acknowledged, that VLARG THE IMPALER, in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

• Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, VLARG THE IMPALER was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

• VLARG THE IMPALER, light of my life, fire of my loins.

• Someone must have slandered VLARG THE IMPALER, for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested.

• Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by VLARG THE IMPALER, these pages must show.

• In my younger and more vulnerable years VLARG THE IMPALER gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.

• As VLARG THE IMPALER awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

• VLARG THE IMPALER was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone 84 days now without taking a fish.

• VLARG THE IMPALER was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by VLARG THE IMPALER’s charm as the Tarleton twins were.


• The man in black fled across the desert, and the VLARG THE IMPALER followed.

Andrew R. Juhl will buy a drink for the first person to shouts “VLARG THE IMPALER” at him at tonight’s pub quiz at Old Capitol Brew Works.

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