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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Expand your interests, and explore places that have relocation potential. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest, so get away for the day, and let your mind wander. Romance is highlighted; it will lead to a personal opportunity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Deal with bureaucracy diplomatically. Getting paperwork out of the way will help ease stress and get someone off your back who is being demanding or a pest. Try to keep things simple, to the point and well within your budget.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gratuitous gifts or donations will boost your reputation, but you mustn't let them break the bank. You can impress someone without doing something out of the ordinary. Use your swagger and finesse to reach your objectives, and you will stand out.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Emotional spending on unrealistic products or services will be costly. Look for ways to improve your self-confidence by adding new skills to your résumé. It's what you do that will leave a lasting impression, not what you have.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't take on too much or over-indulge. You may be in the giving mood, but limit your generosity. Love is highlighted. Don't feel you have to buy someone's affection. If you are fun to be with, that should be enough.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Criticism will not bode well with the person on the receiving end. Keep your thoughts to yourself, and you will avoid getting involved in an argument that will ruin your plans. If you want to scrutinize someone, focus on your shortcomings.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Pick up the pace, and take control of whatever situation you face. Your generous help will buy you favors as well as put you in touch with someone you want to get to know better or work with in the future.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There is no room for error. If something appears to be farfetched, you are best to take a pass. Working on a creative project or an improvement in your residence will keep you out of trouble and lead to positive accomplishments.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Let your confidence lead the way. You'll attract the attention of someone in a position to help you excel. Extra cash will lead to a higher standard of living. Contracts can be negotiated and deals signed. Romance is highlighted.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Unpredictable distractions will disrupt your relationship with a friend or relative. Don't venture too far from home. Problems will develop if you are too open about your personal goals. Avoid making a rash decision.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Keep your money matters to yourself. If you want to make changes to legal or financial papers, try to do so quickly. The less information you share with others, the less interference there will be. Romance should highlight your evening.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't be enticed by the changes around you. You are best to take an obscure route that will ensure you remain in control of your destiny. Working with others will lead to disappointment and disagreements.



Re-examining Well-Known Sayings:

· "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, chances are it's a duck." And if it's not a duck, it should get a job as a duck impersonator.

· "Love makes the world go 'round." Love, and an ignorance of science.

· "When God closes a door, he opens a window." Also, Satan opens a White Castle.

· "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result." It's also what keeps Jägermeister in business.

· "You win some, you lose some." You fail to make the postseason, you overpay for a promising rookie in an attempt to turn around plummeting ticket sales, you watch the rookie go bust, you bankrupt the team, you see the franchise get moved to Oklahoma City.

· "You snooze, you lose." Unless, of course, you're playing snoozeball.

· "Do what you love, and the money will follow." Then, proceed with Phase Two.

· "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." And an ounce of love for the metric system is easily worth two stone.

· "If the shoe fits, wear it." Then, walk away briskly, for you've probably just stolen someone's shoe. · "I took the road less traveled." One-and-a-half stars.

· "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." And blind.

Andrew R. Juhl and visitors smell after three days.






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