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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Concentrate on personal improvements, not on trying to change others. You will meet with opposition if you try to dictate what you want done. Do the work, take full credit, and you will avoid costly repercussions. Romance is highlighted.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Check out investments, but don't put your money on the table. You are best to invest in something that will help you master your skills and improve your chance to get ahead professionally. Overreacting or spending will be your downfall.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Make some positive alterations to your life and the way you live it. Engage in networking or activities that will help you make new contacts, and explore possibilities that can bring you greater success and happiness. Love is on the rise.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Watch your back. An unexpected turn of events will leave you in a precarious position that can harm your reputation. Protect your name, your assets, and your position. Do whatever it takes to get along with others.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A change of environment or friends will help you see your life differently. Gauge how you can secure your place among your peers without facing upset at home. Balance will be necessary to keep the peace both personally and professionally.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Look over offers or money situations carefully. Getting things done properly will be your saving grace. Don't feel the need to bypass steps just to please someone. Practical application will help you come out on top with no regrets or worry.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Work hard to make relationships better. Being accommodating is fine as long as you get the same in return. Getting involved in your community or a group effort that addresses a concern you have will throw you into the spotlight.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Stick to what's expected of you, and once you are finished, get on with projects that give you the freedom to be innovative and can help you find a new niche. A partnership will improve if you avoid indulgence.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Take a short trip to uncover new possibilities with regard to lifestyle, vocational opportunities, or activities you want to indulge in, but be sure to take care of your responsibilities first. Romance and personal change is encouraged.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Opportunities to make money may interfere with your personal plans. Don't leave out a loved one when including her or him will end up being a winning situation. Take pride in how you look or you may face ridicule.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don't back down when you have so much to gain. Contracts, wheeling and dealing, and financial growth are all within your reach. A change in the way you do things will attract attention and the possibility of a new position.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A change in the way you deal with partners will prompt an unexpected situation to arise at work. Don't get angry when you should be checking out how you can get ahead. A window of opportunity must not be ignored.

Curiosity Killed the Cat …

• ... and the mice rejoiced.

• … The cat was survived by his owners, the Gladwells, and his friends, Rex the Dog and Pookems the Turtle.

• … but not before taking out a highly suspicious $100,000 life-insurance policy on him.

• … but Curiosity only maimed the dog and printed libelous material regarding the bird.

• … but if Curiosity hadn't done it, the cat's hard livin' and Mob debt would've caught up to him sooner or later.

• … but Stupidity masterminded the hit.

• … even though a life sentence would have been more humane and would have cost a third of the taxpayers' dollars in comparison.

• … or was Curiosity framed? Leading conspiracies theorists indicate it may have been Colonel Mustard in the White House with the Plasma-Inverter-Ray Gun.

• … although the autopsy revealed the official cause of death was a cocktail of arsenic, cocaine, and Fancy Feast.

• … "Curiosity," of course, being the prison nickname of our current boyfriend, and "the cat" in question being the calico we got from grandma yesterday … but if the parole board says he's rehabilitated, who are we to question it?

• … Don't cry, li'l sis. What I meant was Curiosity took the cat to a nice farm where he gets to drink cream and eat mice all day. What? No, the mice are fine, too. They just play around in the cat's mouth for a while and then go back to their families.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Kit Bryant for the material in today's Ledge.

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