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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Doing for others is fine, but once in a while, consider what’s best for you. Don’t labor over what doesn’t happen; what happens requires your undivided attention. Free time will allow you to follow a dream.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Bulldoze through your chores. Don’t turn down help or be afraid to ask for it if necessary. Diplomacy will get you what you want and keep people coming back to support you in your effort to reach your goals.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take a creative approach to your pursuits, and see what occurs. You will be in an affectionate mood, and your interests will direct you to a very specific person who shares your values, ethics, and plans.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Emotions will flare up, making it important to focus on being mindful and helpful to those you encounter. Honesty will pay off, and although it may not bring you the news you want to hear, you will find out where you stand.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Make creative changes that will point you in a direction better suited to your skills, knowledge, and experience. Not everyone will agree with your plans, but if you follow your heart, you won’t be sorry with the end results.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get along with others, and accept the way things are going. How you react now will have an impact on the way future prospects unfold. The more adaptable you are, the further you will go. Romance will improve your personal life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Arguing will hold you back. Take responsibility for your actions. Put joint ventures on hold until you have a better idea of what’s expected of you. Find out the cost involved in anything you want to undertake before you make a commitment.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Get out, network with new people, and form new friendships or work relationships. Lay your cards on the table, and discuss your plans to promote and present your skills and strategy. Include someone you love in your plans.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Stop waiting, and start doing. Nothing will happen if you don’t take initiative. Money matters may be uncertain, but if you stick to what you know and do best, you will find a way to bolster your income.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Uncertainties will mount regarding an emotional matter. Stick close to home, and you’ll avoid a mishap or delay likely to occur if you travel. Go over your personal papers, and make sure everything is in order.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Personal improvements will help you put your best foot forward when dealing with work-related matters. Interviews, updating your résumé, and discussing plans will all lead to a lifestyle change that makes you feel good about future prospects.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Look for a positive way to develop new interests, friendships, or financial growth. Your uniqueness will lead to greater options. Romance will be prominent, and making plans to do something entertaining will improve your relationship with someone special.



Things I’ve thought while watching horror movies:

• We need to capture Jason Vorhees and steal his teleportation technology.

• He’s a 7-foot-tall guy who can tomahawk-throw an ax more than 100 yards … Did you really expect that hitting him with a broom handle would accomplish anything?

• You heard a window break downstairs, and then the power went out … and you’re investigating this *why exactly*?

• Every well-trained, gun-equipped police officer in who’s crossed the killer’s path has died immediately, yet you, a 103-pound teenage girl, were able to fight him off and escape? Sure, makes sense.

• So your boyfriend went downstairs to get some wine 10 minutes ago, and he’s still not back? Clearly, this is an opportune time to take a shower.

• You just locked yourself in a bathroom with only one entrance. Didn’t think that one through too well, huh?

• Whenever the monster saw anyone else, it devoured them right away, but for some reason, it decided to get really close to your face and sniff you before trying to eat you, only to be foiled? Zoologically improbable at best.

• A lot of people don’t understand Michael Myers, but I can totally relate to the character. I know that if my sister had shot me in the head with a magnum, I’d still be alive, too.

• So every townsperson’s first piece of advice upon meeting you was “Don’t go into the woods at night,” and yet you somehow felt the need to do just that? Good riddance, idiot.

• You were dead sprinting through the pitch-black woods; of course you fell.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Brent Peterson for the material in today's Ledge.






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