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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Discussions will count, but be careful not to divulge personal information, especially when dealing with peers and colleagues. Focus on downtime and planning trips and activities with someone you love. Use your energy wisely and your mind intelligently.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Stop dwelling on imperfections and dissatisfaction. A positive mindset is required to be successful. Too much of anything will be frowned upon, so keep your life simple, moderate and balanced. Personal improvements will bring you the highest returns.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Emotions will surface, making it difficult for you to contain the way you feel or what you want. Tread carefully — someone may take advantage of your vulnerability. Don’t believe everything you hear. Ask for proof or get what’s being offered in writing.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Putter around home or visit friends. The less time you have to think about your troubles, the better. You are better off following a path that leads to unusual activities or encounters. Don’t aggravate a situation that’s festering. Time heals all wounds.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Take charge; be a hero. A quick response and helpful attitude will be impressive. Put your skills to good use, and keep your eyes open for a chance to advance. Your selfless gestures will be your ticket into an extraordinary opportunity.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Money matters will take an unpredictable turn. Check your bank balance before you make a questionable purchase. Unexpected personal changes are heading your way. Keep your emotions in check, and stay levelheaded in order to avoid arguments.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stop procrastinating, and start moving. Take action, and show your ability to wheel, deal, and handle whatever comes your way with finesse and an entrepreneurial attitude. A change in the way people treat you is about to take place.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can make smart financial gains if you invest in upgrading your assets. Don’t let anyone confuse you. Once you’ve made up your mind, stick to it until you finish what you started. Resourcefulness is your ticket to freedom.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ignore emotional changes that someone close to you is experiencing. Consider any alteration an adventure. The more receptive you are, the better off you will be. Don’t let love turn into a burden when it should complement you and your lifestyle.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Avoid altering anything in your life for the time being. You will have difficulty making the right decision and confusion will set in. Consider long-term effects instead of what’s unfolding in the moment. Look at the big picture.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): An open heart and mind will help you retrieve the information you require to make an important decision. Your financial prospects look good, and increasing your income through an unexpected source is likely. Move forward with optimism and enthusiasm.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You’ll experience trouble getting along with others. Arguments will erupt, and false information will lead you astray. Pull in the reins, and refrain from getting into a deep discussion about something you know little about.



Horoscopes:

Aries: Do not dwell on the many small mistakes in your past; fret about the many large mistakes you’re about to make in the future.

Taurus: Additional hot yoga classes are not the solution—merely 87 percent of the solution.

Gemini: Stay away from the Jimmy John’s you frequent. Go to the other one. Lie low there for a while, just to be safe.

Cancer: Dust off those killer iCarly impressions; they’ll come in handy at least six times this week.

Leo: This is an auspicious week to check the contents of every old USB stick you own.

Virgo: If you try to ride an elevator naked, you should be prepared to take the stares.

Libra: Look into DIY hardwood-floor renovations. My floors need to be resurfaced, and I’m too busy to do the legwork on this one.

Scorpio: I’ve got six words for you: Buy that orange mullet wig NOW.

Sagittarius: Sadly, another week will end without you discovering the source of the fruit flies.

Capricorn: Stay away from any men who remind you of Selena Gomez.

Aquarius: Stop hate-eating at Arby’s. Try hate-eating at KFC instead.

Pisces: Tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. Tie the other end around your neck. Lean away from the tree. Just to the point where it feels good. The goal isn’t to pass out; the goal is enjoyment.

Andrew R. Juhl knows these are accurate; his horoscope told him so.






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