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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Indulge in conversation, and explore new possibilities. Getting to know new people will help you initiate personal alterations that are bound to teach you something useful. Don't believe everything you are told regarding health.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Look for creative and use ways to sort through any problems you face. Keep life simple, and use what you know to help you maneuver into a position that shows promise. Integrity in personal matters will ensure the same in return.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Visitors or changes at home will brighten your day. Don't make a physical change if you haven't done enough research. False advertising is apparent, and precautions must be taken. Honest and open talks will help you make the right decision.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Expect to fight for what you want. A controversial conversation will leave you feeling exhausted. Don't revisit a past mistake. Live in the present, and focus on the moment, not the past. Love is highlighted, and romance is encouraged.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Indulge in life, fun, and exploring new interests, but don't overdo it. There is a fine balance to maintain if you don't want to suffer loss. Make a point to swiftly take care of any health matters that arise.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Step into action when it comes to home and family matters. Listen to your heart, and let your emotions speak for you. Don't hide from the truth. Face whatever comes your way with pride and practicality. Love is in the stars.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Offer what you can to those you care about. Consider partnerships if it will bring about a positive change for both you and the other person. Be ready to make a quick decision in order to take advantage of an awesome opportunity.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take one step at a time. Be careful not to overly share. Stick to moderate plans that you know how to handle emotionally, physically, and financially. Unusual changes at home will enhance romance and boost your relationship with someone special.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't take on something you cannot finish. A problem with a peer, sibling, or neighbor will stir up trouble that will be difficult to overcome. Stick close to home, and do your best to make positive changes that will add to your assets.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Impulse will lead to conversations that are detrimental to finding a workable solution. Take a moment to rehash some of the occurrences of the past, and you will find better ways to move forward without friction. Home improvements will pay off.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Progress is key, and making the necessary changes will get you where you want to go. There are deals to be made and money gains heading your way. Think big, and present your ideas with finesse. Don't let bureaucracy hold you back.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your focus should be on stabilizing your financial situation. Partnerships may be offered, but unless you feel the relationship offers equal opportunity, you are best to take a pass and go it alone. Love and romance look promising.



30 Items from My House Confusable with Complicated Sexual Maneuvers:

1. A Three-Hole Punch

2. A Stuffed Aardvark

3. A Rug Gripper Deluxe

4. Alpine Ear Plugs

5. An Electric Tea Kettle

6. A Ruby Red Chin Strap

7. A Viking Helmet

8. A Portuguese Double-Lever Corker

9. A Rusty Melon Baller

10. Grease in the Coffee Can

11. A Tilt 'n' Swivel Charger

12. A Vegan Coinpurse

13. A Cord Bundler

14. Sticky Safety Scissors

15. A Full DVR

16. A Chocolate Recliner

17. A Multispeed Juicer

18. Elephant Bookends

19. A Widemouth Snifter

20. The Loose Puzzle Piece

21. A Dusty Ceiling

22. A Plush Goomba

23. The Sleeping Cat/The Lazy Dog

24. A Broken Lawnmower

25. An Ice Maker

26. A French Press

27. A Freestanding Elliptical

28. Grandma's Hummels

29. A Five-in-One Shower Nozzle

30. Three Captive Hobos

Andrew R. Juhl thanks LT, DH, ML, KJ, DL, SH, KB, BP, BM, KW, AJ, YC, SW, and SL for contributing to today's Ledge.






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