New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Put creative thought into any job or responsibility you pursue. Exploring new ways to present who you are and what you have to offer will build confidence and aid you in making transitions that will help you advance.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t look at what you are missing, look at what you have. You will learn from experience and the encounters you have with people who touch you emotionally. Size up your situation, and make whatever adjustments required to obtain a secure future.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Keep moving forward, and don’t take everything others say to heart. Make your own decisions based on thorough findings. Use your intelligence, and refuse to let your emotions interfere with making a wise practical choice.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Rely on good old-fashioned hands-on physical work. Too much thinking and not enough action will be your downfall. Don’t procrastinate, or you will appear unorganized and lazy. It doesn’t matter how you reach your destination, it’s getting there that counts.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You may want to do things in a big and bold manner, but it’s important to keep whatever you do moderate and within your budget. You can make positive changes with a little effort and commonsense. Don’t let jealousy cost you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Emotional problems will escalate quickly if you are unreasonable regarding domestic matters. Find a way to compromise and collaborate in order to keep the peace without jeopardizing your principles. Take care of responsibilities before someone criticizes you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Travel, participation, and spending time in the company of people you love or admire will lead to personal changes that will improve your life and your outlook. Walk away from anyone making demands. Exclude whatever or whoever is negative in your life.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put your creative ideas into motion. Money will come to you from an unexpected source. A lifestyle change will allow you to regain your strength, integrity, and ease your stress. Commonsense coupled with responsibility will be necessary.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’ll attract attention and dazzle people with your wit and ability to charm and tempt. Love is on the rise, and doing something romantic will lead to an interesting change in an important relationship. Positive change is heading your way.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Bet on your own ability to get things done. Someone will talk big but do little. Getting upset or angry will be a waste of time that is better spent chasing success. Being responsible, dedicated, and loyal will not go unnoticed.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take on a challenge that will help fulfill a dream or a cause that means a lot to you. Your personal life will suffer unnecessarily if you opt to argue instead of being affectionate. Make positive personal changes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A partnership can bring you greater financial stability. Listen to any offer or propose what you think is workable, but take a wait-and-see approach before you begin to negotiate. Don’t let your emotions dictate your actions.

A partial list of things I should probably tell every prospective girlfriend:

• Every year I get my company’s “Best Dressed” award, but only because nobody wants to see me naked.

• I’m full of piss and vinegar. It’s a weird diet, but to be fair, I am losing a lot of weight.

• I’ve had trouble in my history classes ever since the year 19967.

• I’m a thousand times better at planning for a zombie apocalypse than I am for retirement.

• I’m unapologetically overly apologetic, and I’m so very sorry that I’m not at all sorry for that.

• Growing up, I always wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps, but he left and never told us where he went.

• Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time getting ripped at the gym; the hangovers have been merciless.

• I live my life by a simple code: Always try your best not to die.

• As a feminist, I only get lap dances from the lesbian strippers.

• For much of my early adult life, I didn’t have a pot to piss in or a good understanding for the intended use of pots.

• I don’t really have a “taste” when it comes to women; if you gathered all my exes into one room, you’d have a group strongly resembling the team from *A League of Their Own*.

Andrew R. Juhl will tell you even more about yourself tonight at Micky’s Bar Exam, from 10 p.m.-midnight.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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