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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Travel, excitement, and sharing y our emotions with someone special will add to your day. Recognize that you don’t have to spend a lot in order to have fun with someone special. Don’t let work cloud your vision regarding your personal goals.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take time to sort out what you need to change in your life in order to make it better or more convenient. Take care of pending legal, financial, or medical matters so that you can stabilize your position and your future.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take the initiative, and make things happen. Explore possibilities, and express your thoughts. Changes at home and in your important relationships can be positively altered to better suit your needs. Don’t be fooled by emotional blackmail.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Be careful where you leave your valuables or loose change. Financial limitations will occur if you overspend on entertainment or on a risky investment. Concentrate on health and wellness. An unusual outing will lead you down an interesting path and entertaining encounter.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Avoiding an argument will help you gain momentum and accomplish what you set out to do. Don’t let anyone put additional demands on you. Make the changes that will help you gain confidence and control over your life.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Observe what others do and say, especially if it concerns an emotional issue that can easily be misinterpreted. Stick to the facts, and you’ll find a way to create improvements rather than setbacks. If something is unclear, ask questions.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Getting together with someone from your past will prove to be an interesting experience full of surprises and emotions. A short trip will help you make a decision that has been causing uncertainty. Lead with your head, not your heart.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Focus inward on what’s important to you. Nurture a unique relationship to avoid any unnecessary discord. Keep life simple by taking care of responsibilities and avoiding complaints that can waste valuable time. Choose the road less-traveled.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Begin home-improvement projects, but stick to a budget. Arguments will waste time and take away from the results you are trying to achieve. Focus on adding value to whatever you do, but don’t go into debt to do so.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Expect a change in your personal money matters or a contract or settlement you’ve been working on. You are best to keep a steady pace to ensure that your responsibilities are taken care of and that promises you made are kept.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Partnership opportunities look good, but before you jump in, go over the details, and make sure you are satisfied with the way the work and finances are distributed. A change in your career path looks positive and prosperous.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Go over every single detail meticulously before agreeing to any paperwork that needs your signature. Put romance, nurturing, and self-gratification at the top of your list. Above all else, keep a clear conscience and a stellar reputation.

My scars, how I got them, and how I tell people I got them:

• Matching 1-inch scars on two fingers of my left hand (deep lacerations from a broken pane of glass): 2 a.m. knife fight with a midget albino ninja (lost).

• 3-inch scar on the top of my head (tripped headlong into the corner of a steel desk while running after a superball during inside recess in grade school): head-butted Dog the Bounty Hunter in the face when I caught him eying my woman one night at Señor Frog’s — the scar came from his jagged tooth scraping across my scalp as he tried in vain to yell for help.

• 1-inch scar a few inches south of the base of my sternum (cholecystectomy (gall bladder removal)): stabbed with a purloined plastic spork by a frightened and escaping macaque at the San Francisco Zoo. Sadly, other zoo-goers did not fare as well as I.

• 1-inch scar on the top of my left thumb, just below the nail (careless hacksaw incident): I don’t tell people how I got this scar — if I told them, I’d have to kill them.

• 1-inch scar on the underside of my chin (kicked in the face at a party by a drunk with steel-toed boots on — and hell yes, I cried): kicked in the face at a party by a drunk with steel-toed boots on — and hell no, I didn’t cry.

• 4-inch scar in the middle of my back (cancer): midget albino ninja knife fight rematch (won).

Andrew R. Juhl ain’t got time to bleed.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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