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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Explore new avenues. Sign up for networking events that will help broaden your outlook regarding future trends. Refuse to let an emotional situation cause stress. Build up your immune system by setting up a regimented routine consisting of exercise and good nutrition.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Frustration will set in if you try to do the impossible. Treat others with respect, and make sure you get the same in return. Choose your battles wisely. Put more emphasis on what you can do to help others.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A surprise will make your day. Engage in activities and events that you find mentally stimulating. Contributions that will lead to a better future, surroundings, or environment should be your focus. Refuse to argue with someone trying to make you look bad.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Make a few changes that will make your life easier. Don’t wait until you are forced to do something. Take control, and make the experience one of joy. Romance is on the rise, and making plans will bring you closer to someone special.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You will face opposition. Make sure you fully understand what’s expected of you before you jump into a situation that will influence how or where you live. Change can be good, but only if it improves your current situation.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You will learn a lot if you listen and observe. Let what you experience guide you in a direction that will help you advance. A romantic relationship will be enhanced if you do something to help the one you love.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t make decisions based on what others want. Step back, look at the big picture, and follow through with the plans that will ensure that you get what you want. Show everyone what you are capable of doing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Refrain from taking anything for granted. Disappointment will prevail if you don’t take care of your physical, financial, or emotional needs. Put innovative plans into play, and avoid letting others railroad you in the wrong direction.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Put all your efforts into being your best. Financial gains can be made if you invest in personal change. Making a residential move will be beneficial in the end. Don’t go overboard helping others. Put your needs first.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A chance to get closer to someone you love is apparent, but don’t mix business with pleasure. Don’t be daunted if someone makes a last-minute change. Do what works best for you, and keep moving forward.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t let your emotions lead you in the wrong direction. Fight back with honesty and integrity if someone uses emotional blackmail. Focus on positive relationships, not connections to people who make your life difficult. A business partnership will pay off.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Follow through with your plans. Put your money into something that will help you develop your skills and control your future. Love is on the rise, and personal plans can be made. Don’t let business connections disrupt your relationship with someone special.



More DI Rejected Headlines:

• Local Man Wins Origami Tournament by Folding Under Pressure

• Banana Republic Employee Gets Kohl’s in Her Christmas Stocking

• Peter Jackson’s Next Trilogy: A Sweeping Epic about a French Maid

• Researchers: Americans No Longer Understand Proper Usage of Question Mark?

• Chef Arrested for Poaching Eggs, Selling Tusks on Black Market

• Cardiologist Offers Heartfelt Apology in Malpractice Case

• Rehabilitated Convict Second-Guesses Backseat Driver’s Conversion to Islam

• Crestfallen Tube of Toothpaste Lying on Floor Next to Bathroom Sink

• Fans of Lori, Tom Refuse to Put Aside Their Petty Differences

• Lane Bryant Has a Nice Rack

• Geneticists Create True “Lovebug” Complete with “XO-Skeleton”

• Change Coming to the American Union of Vending Machine Operators

• Inventor of Auto-Correct Dies, Probably Burning in Ducking He’ll

• Minority Dog Leader “Tired of The Man Putting Us Down”

• Republicans to Push “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” Campaign this Arbor Day

Andrew R. Juhl makes (up) headlines on regular basis.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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