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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take care of domestic matters before they escalate into a full-fledged problem. Whether it’s a physical, emotional, or financial fix that’s required, stay on top of matters. Expect to alter your plans because of a last-minute change.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t share personal secrets. You’ll encounter someone who is jealous and unpredictable. Keep your professional matters to yourself, and focus on doing your job. Accept the inevitable, and you will find it much easier to deal with the changes going on around you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Stick to whatever budget you set. Impulse purchases will set you back financially. Problems with settlements, legal matters, or contracts can be avoided if you are precise in what’s acceptable and what isn’t. You cannot please everyone.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Take part in community ventures that are geared toward improving your neighborhood. Showing an interest can bring about positive changes. The contributions you make will raise issues that must be dealt with before you can proceed with your plans.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You are in need of a change; take the initiative. Start a crusade that brings about incentive to the people you work with to help you reach your goals. An emotional relationship will be enhanced by your actions.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put everything you’ve got into doing the best job possible. You will be judged on your professional dealings and ability to get along with others. Don’t be fooled by someone trying to mislead you. Control, caution, and courtesy will lead to victory.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Listen, discuss plans, and do your best to learn whatever information you require firsthand. Ulterior motives are apparent where money is concerned. Get whatever you agree upon in writing. A change of plans can help alleviate discord.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Evasiveness regarding a contract or investment should be questioned. Home improvements that are conducive to your comfort and emotional outlook should be put into motion. Make a point to do a follow-up regarding a medical issue.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Hard work plus creativity and talent will put you ahead professionally. A partnership will have its perks as long as you keep what you bring to the table equal. Don’t be enticed by someone offering a secret rendezvous.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take a walk down memory lane, and you will find the answers you need to move forward. Reflect, rejuvenate, and reconsider your options. With a little thought, consideration, and planning, you can improve your life. Try something new.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t neglect your responsibilities when you should move full-tilt ahead in order to reach your destination. Making changes to your personal surroundings or altering how you live will bring you satisfaction and greater joy. Love is highlighted.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Stop procrastinating; make a move. Time is of the essence and can make a difference between success and failure. Make a decision regarding your home and your personal finances. A joint venture isn’t likely to work, so be prepared to move forward on your own.



Re-examining a few more well-known sayings:

• “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.” Or at least that’s what my cats tell me.

• “Variety is the spice of life.” Also … salt. It’s in everything.

• “Excuses are like noses: everybody’s got one.” Also: they come in handy if you have a bad cocaine habit.

• “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.” At least, that’s what the government wants you to believe by putting mind-controlling chemicals in our nation’s corn syrup and talcum-powder supplies since the ’60s.

• “There’s a thin line between love and hate.” There’s also a thin line between Speakboxxx and The Love Below. And between AC and DC. And between and and or. And between how funny this joke ever was to begin with and how tired its premise has now become.

• “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Unless you went to a restaurant and ordered a hand.

• “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.” It’s only insane if you do it over and over again NINE times. Or TEN times. But not ELEVEN. ELEVEN is a prime number, and those are all SAFE. Isn’t that right, Mr. Kitten Mittens?

Andrew R. Juhl isn’t an idiom, you oxymoronic proverb.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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