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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get out and make new and interesting contacts. Favors will be granted, and partnership opportunities will come into play. Don't sit idle when there is so much you can accomplish. Invite positive change into your life as you push forward.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Take a closer look at what's going on around you. Improve your surroundings at home to suit your growing needs. Don't let personal matters interfere with your productivity. Put muscle into play, and endorse whatever will bring benefits in return.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your unique approach to whatever you do will attract someone who has complementary insight and vision. Joining forces with others will allow you to bring about change that will help further your status and reputation. Don't sit back when action will bring results.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Stop worrying; start doing. You need to find an inventive way to put your money to good use or set up a unique budget that will help you achieve your financial goals. Don't let the changes others make trick you into following suit.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Keep your emotions in check. Adapt to whatever scenario you face, and find a way to make situations work for you and everyone around you. Understanding and compromise will help you reach your destination. Stay alert and up to date.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Look for answers instead of taking someone's word. Do your research, and test what you discover. You are only as good as the effort you put in. Socialize and engage in romance; you will improve your personal life and future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Step things up a notch. You are on a roll, so don't procrastinate. Take the plunge, and follow through with your plans. Networking will lead to new possibilities, friendships, and future plans. Partnerships will forge quickly but must be monitored wisely.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take a back seat, and observe what's going on around you. Put your money in a safe place, and you won't be tempted to spend on something you don't really need. Don't feel guilty if you feel like taking a break.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Get more involved in work-related events, and join forces with peers in order to excel. Altering your living arrangements will help your emotional outlook, allowing you to be more productive. Someone will show an interest in you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Make personal alterations that will help stabilize your life and your position. Focus on being the best you can be, and engage in partnerships that promise greater security. Stick to your plan, and you will reach your goal.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Feelings will be close to the surface. Assess what's going on around you before you make a remark that has the potential to lead to trouble. Focus on money matters, contracts, and health issues. Protect your heart.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You can make some life-altering changes to the way you live or where you live. Taking a look at where you grew up and how it influenced you will give you a good indication of where you should head now. Live and learn.



Questions I've Asked Myself Recently:

• Why is it so hard to be friends with an ex or eat a taco hanging upside down?

• How come you always see commercials for cars and commercials for insurance, but you never see a commercial for car insurance?

• If not one, then what's a good number of tracks for my mind to have?

• If we can put a man on the Moon, why can't we just keep Chris Brown in jail?

• Am I earning bad karma by not believing in karma?

• Why is it considered good luck to be pooped on by a bird but a criminal misdemeanor to poop on a kit of pigeons you super-glued to a park bench?

• When should I switch my puppy off formula and on to malt liquor?

• Won't our first alien visitors find it off-putting to learn we drink the milk or cows and blood of goats?

• Why isn't there a Facebook game in which I can earn points by ceaselessly annoying my friends?

• How many bupkisses in diddly-squat, and how does that translate into nadas on the zip-zero-zilch scale?

• Why do my coworkers continue to insinuate I'm a Russian spy no matter how many times I tell them I'm nyet?

• Will this world remember me more as a selfless hero or its ultimate savior?

Andrew R. Juhl questionably questions his questioning ability.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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