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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Do your best to achieve your goals. Show how competitive you can be. Attract attention, and make new friends who are just as enthusiastic as you are. Socializing with progressive people will lead to long-term alliances.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Keep a low profile, and work diligently toward your own goal. Avoid telling others how to do things, or you will end up with an enemy, not an ally. Concentrate on self-improvement and doing a good job.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Take part in things you enjoy, and you'll bypass some troubles that can develop with someone at work. A lack of honesty is apparent and can lead to poor choices. Make positive changes at home as well as personal improvements.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Build your résumé, add to your skills and knowledge, and it will be easier to deal with the changes occurring at work and in your industry. Stability should be your concern and moderation your safety net.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Strive for perfection. Your ability to see situations from all sides will help you mediate any disagreement or debate that arises. A change in position will help you build a strong portfolio and improve your standard of living.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Go over what's happening in your life. Don't let your finances get you down when a strict budget and greater control over family or domestic spending will get you back on track. A business partnership must delegate responsibilities before you move forward.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Tread carefully when dealing with friends, family, or partners. Put time and effort into getting your chores out of the way and living up to any promises you made. You may feel like making a personal or physical change, but be wary of a sales pitch that promises the impossible.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Take it upon yourself to delve into unusual pastimes or to research something that will help you build a unique home environment or workspace. Dress to impress by sporting a look that will grab attention. Love is on the rise.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do what you can to improve your surroundings. Social activities will bring you in touch with someone you find appealing. Get physical, and improve your health and overall appearance. An emotional problem will surface if you haven't been upfront.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Keep your communication to a minimum. Go over personal papers, contracts, settlements, or any research you require to make a decision. Avoid arguing with someone unwilling to budge. Look for innovative ways to get your way. Incentive and compliments will help.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Use what you know to advance. Express your interests, and set up interviews or talks with those in a position to help you reach your goals. Aggressive action will bring results and position you to do well on upcoming projects.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Make your moves with precision. The research you do will make a difference to the way you view what's going on around you. A partnership will stabilize your position and encourage you to expand your interests. Romance is highlighted.

Random Thoughts:

• I ordered a baby book from Amazon, but I'm not sure how good it will be. Maybe I should have read What to Expect When You're Expecting What to Expect When You're Expecting first?

• I wonder if grapefruit farmers ever get tired of their product being compared to life-ending tumors.

• I think it's interesting that many activities our culture considers "enriching" during adolescence are later frowned upon during adulthood, like making out with 11th graders.

• If you went to a Quiet Riot show tonight, you'd see the same number of original Quiet Riot members as there are in every Quiet Riot tribute band. And also, you'd have a shitty time.

• It's weird to think that "Under the Dome" is based on a true story.

• Whenever I use the "Add to Dictionary" feature in Microsoft to make it learn a word such as "wanna" or "gonna," I feel like a bad parent who lets his 5-year-old nab sips of whiskey.

• It's annoying how often commercials for simple products such as chocolate and shampoo imply their use can turn consumers into orgasmic, spasmodic lunatics, when in reality everybody already knows that takes a minimum of four human sacrifices.

• The difference between going to the gym at 9 p.m. and going to the gym at 9 a.m. is like night and day.

Andrew R. Juhl has a tumor-sized grapefruit for breakfast each morning.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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