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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take on whatever comes your way. Your go-getter attitude and creative imagination will lead to an intriguing prospect. Interaction and greater involvement with upwardly mobile people will result in a worthwhile partnership. Knowledge equals power; file away what you hear and see.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Stick to what you know, and work diligently at your own speed. Avoid emotional impasses with people only interested in controlling your situation. Explore your options, and you will find a way to expand your interests personally and professionally.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Explore what's being offered. Change can be good if it stimulates your mind and helps you head in a direction that promotes advancement. High energy and enthusiasm will grab attention and set you apart from any competition you face.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Let your mind wander, and you'll find a unique way to make extra cash. Revamp a service you used to offer to friends or family, and you'll find a way to go public. You can be helpful and benefit from your good intentions.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Emotions will surface if you experience a change of heart. Insecurity will set off uncertainty or an inability to make a move. Progressive action will bring good results. Get moving, and do not look back. Don't be afraid to do things differently.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Look for ways to implement unique alternatives that will help improve the job you do, and you will receive recognition and consideration for your contribution. An impulsive purchase isn't likely to please you once you test it out.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put your heart into whatever you do, but don't overreact if someone doesn't agree with what you are doing. Listen to advice, weigh the pros and cons, and continue to follow the path that makes you feel most comfortable. Nurture is important partnerships.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Make positive changes at home, and follow through with creative endeavors. Expand your circle of friends to include those who share your interests. Love is on the rise, and a positive twist to the way you treat someone special will benefit you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A professional trip or mixing business with pleasure will help you discover if a project you want to pursue is feasible or not. Share your concerns, and be blunt about what you can bring to the table. Don't promise financial assistance.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your timing is questionable. You are caught between what needs to be done and what's possible. Take a back seat, and watch how someone else handles matters. Stepping in and cleaning up will be much easier and will reap rewards.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take action, and you will make progress. Send out your résumé, or sign up for a course that will help you advance. Money matters can be addressed and a joint venture will bring all sorts of benefits. Sign contracts.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Work quietly behind the scenes. Focus on personal documentation and household needs. Love and personal relationships will improve if you set time aside to spend with a friend, lover, or family member. A creative outlet will help ease stress.



General and Unsolicited Advice:

• Consuming 0.75 liters of any wine will switch off the part of your brain in charge of telling you that drinking the other 0.75 liters in the magnum is a bad idea.

• If you're not sure whether you're really in love with someone, watch them eat corn on the cob.

• A good indicator that you may have a problem: Whenever you get Chinese delivery for just yourself, the restaurant includes more than two sets of plastic silverware.

• A quick, easy way to raise money is to have a garage sale. Usually, you can sell four or five garages before people catch on, and you need to skip town.

• You'll do much better on either side of the Second Amendment debate if you simply accept the fact that guns don't kill people; idiots and wackadoodles with incredibly easy access to guns kill people.

• When you encounter someone driving like a douche bag, giving them the finger will almost certainly make them immediately re-evaluate their behavior and in no way make them drive like an even bigger douche bag for the next five to 10 minutes.

•Once you hit retirement age, do the smart thing and put your children in a home before they do it to you. THERE WILL BE NO TIME FOR PETTY EMOTIONS.

Andrew R. Juhl suggests you take a whiskey-tasting class and study hard for the finals.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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