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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Tuck your emotions somewhere safe and sound. Getting bent out of shape will not help your relationships with friends or family. Compromise, and offer your assistance, not your criticism. Focus on self-improvement, not trying to change others.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Choose your friends and associates wisely. Give and take must be part of the equation if you want to form workable partnerships. Take a pass on anyone who is unpredictable. Help others; it will be reciprocated.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don't waste time. Get to the point. Talk to anyone able to help you get a new venture up and running. A service or skill you have to offer will be profitable if you follow through. Love is highlighted.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Take a unique approach to getting things done. Don't wait to see if someone else wants to go first. Don't be afraid to be different or to delve into something that inspires you to try something new. Travel, communicate, and socialize.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Get organized, and discuss your plans with people you feel can help you get ahead. A change of location will do you good, but caution while traveling will be necessary. There is money to be made, but contracts must be signed first.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Find solutions, and offer help. Your suggestions and hands-on expertise will put you in a good position to negotiate what you would like in return. You stand to benefit because of your generosity. Don't be shy.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Avoid overreacting or being around someone who is being too demanding. Put more effort into getting ahead and making new contacts that can help you reach your goals. Love is in the stars, and romance will bring good results.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Share your thoughts, and visit places that inspire you to take on something new or unusual. Let your imagination wander, and you will come up with workable solutions for both self- and home improvements. React based on your feelings.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Not everyone will be as open as you are. Reserve judgment if someone shares gossip with you. Information isn't likely to be validated. A personal change at home will end up costing you more than anticipated. Recalculate, and backtrack to fit your budget.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Put your energy and effort into doing a good job. Showing your ability under unusual circumstances will make you stand out in the crowd. Your expertise will help you get ahead, but expect someone to be jealous and act unruly.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take advantage of an opportunity, but make sure you read the fine print first. Staying on top of any situation you get into personally, professionally, or financially will ensure that you get ahead. A healthy regime will pay off.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You'll have a magnetic influence on others if you share your imaginative ideas. Socializing will open up doors to people and information that will be beneficial to you in the future. Offer whatever service or information you have to share.



'80s Hits EXPOSED

• Jenny's number was actually 867-5903.

• If you could stop the world, it would cause everything and everyone to be immediately launched sideways at hundreds of mph, which is nowhere close to escape velocity, so other people wouldn't even burn — let alone melt — with you.

• Girls, not to mention young women, desire a great many things — only one of which is "fun."

• The groupie in question shook Brian Johnson five times for a total of four hours, 23 minutes (including refractory periods). While commendable, it is hardly "all night."

• Your kiss not only made my list of the Best Things in Life, it also made my annual Worst Dressed list (you've got a bit of a 'stache, honey).

• The USA's crime rate is several times that of Australia, meaning the land "up over" is better described as where men plunder. (Statistics regarding feminine rates of glow were not available at press time.)

• At no moment did Eileen never mean more than approximately 78 percent.

• The name most likely comes from the expression "the blue devils," which are intense visual hallucinations that may accompany severe alcohol withdrawal, a common malady of oppressed and enslaved blacks in the late 17th century U.S. — but, yeah, Elton, I guess it's OK to also invoke the term for not getting laid enough.

Andrew R. Juhl and the LCFG do not acknowledge these songs as "before your time"; they are timeless.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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