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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Proceed with caution when dealing with institutions, business associates, or unpredictable individuals. Don't let your excitement show or give someone looking for an excuse to make you look bad an opportunity to twist your words. Make an impact by doing, not talking.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don't be afraid to be a freethinker. Be innovative and trendy. Present what you have to offer with pizzazz. Take charge, and do the initial work before you count on anyone to live up to your standards.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Scale down your ideas to ensure they are realistic. If you start small and build slowly, you will have a much better chance of reaching your goals and making an impression on someone you need on your team to help raise your profile.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Nurture an important relationship. Talk about your plans, and discuss any complaints you have. Fine-tuning a situation will help you reach your objectives and set the stage for future endeavors. Romance will enhance your personal life.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The spotlight should be on learning, engaging in talks, and setting up the groundwork for a partnership with someone you find innovative and tech-savvy. Expect to face delays or problems with agencies, institutions, or authority figures if you travel.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Instigate, and offer a visual picture for those less imaginative, and you will interest the people best suited to help you turn your plans into a reality. What you do to help others will result in opportunities far beyond your expectations.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Do whatever needs to be done, and keep moving. If you rely on others, you will be disappointed. Spread your interests to include people from different backgrounds or who have unusual skills to offer. Stick to your plan, and encourage moderation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Talk is cheap and will give you a pretty good idea where everyone you are dealing with stands. Your unique approach to life and the way you live will attract attention. Being unusual, authentic, and energetic will pay off.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Consider your past and how best to use what you have accomplished in order to help you get ahead. Change will be required at home if you want to avoid an unsavory situation because of meddlers seeking to damage your position.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Stand up, and be counted. You have plenty to offer and mustn't hold back, even if it means taking a stance and disagreeing with someone. A passionate display, coupled with facts and expertise, will help you come out on top.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put money matters, health issues, and taking care of personal business at the top of your list. Offer suggestions to those asking for a handout, but don't donate money or time that you don't have. Update and revise to guarantee a better future.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Offer help. Your kindness and generosity will be acknowledged and can lead to influential connections. Someone from your past is likely to cause you grief if you are guilty of leaving business unfinished. Backtrack, and make amends.

Modernizing the Omnipotent Paradox:

Could God create a Twitter account so obnoxious the even He would unfollow himself?

Could God create a skeptic so vehement that even She would not be able to convert that skeptic?

Could God create a Beyoncé so bootylicious that even He would not be ready for that jelly?

Could God create a room full of monkeys so large that even She would not be able to provide them all with typewriters?

Could God create a government so separated from religion that even He would not be able to insert himself into its laws?

Could God create a question so paradoxical that even She could not answer it?

Could God create a board game so complex that even He could not explain its rules to his friends?

Could God create a bus so friendly that even She would not be a stranger on it?

Could God create a Pandora station so wonderful that even He would pony up the $36 annual fee to listen commercial-free?

Could God name-drop a hipster band so obscure that even She has never heard of them?

Could God write a romantic movie so bad that even He wouldn't to sit through just to get laid?

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Kyle J, Zach Z, and Nate W for contributing to today's Ledge.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
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Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
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• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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