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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Protect your reputation. Put in extra hours or add more detail to the way you do your chores and your job. Help others, and you will avoid being left out. Less complaining and more production is the key to your success.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You can improve your professional position if you add skills or services to what you are now offering. Your peers, colleagues, and superiors will consider you invaluable if you keep up with technology and business trends. Innovation coupled with teamwork is required.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your investments may need a tune-up. Go over personal papers and any joint holdings you might have. A change regarding the person you do financial or legal business with will help you get your money matters in better shape.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Acceptance will help you maneuver through any negative encounter you face. The sooner you deal with responsibility, the quicker you will be able to move on to the people, places, and things you enjoy most. Don't let dead weight hold you back.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Taking action will allow you to show what you've got to offer and place you in a very cushy position when it comes to both your personal and professional connections. Don't let an emotional issue cloud your vision or your progress.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Walk away from an argument. Love and romance are in the stars, and setting plans to enjoy time with someone you think is special will brighten your day. Children will play a positive role in your life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Get out and about. The more you interact with people who share your interests or concerns, the further ahead you will get. A change regarding your relationships with others may be necessary if you are heading in a different direction.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Do, rather than discuss, when it comes to domestic situations or decisions that must be made. By taking action, you will confirm that you are willing to go the distance to make things happen. Explore friendships with people you find inspiring.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A misunderstanding can cost you, so choose your words carefully. Helping others will raise your profile, but don't allow anyone to take advantage of your good nature. Keep your money in a safe place.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Rely on your business savvy and ability to outmaneuver others. Taking an unusual route to reach your goals will help you bypass some of the competition you face. An unexpected change in one of your relationships must not throw you off course.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Trust in yourself, and put your time and effort into achieving your goals, not helping someone else advance. Make changes that will enable you to use your skills innovatively, and you will surpass anyone trying to stand in your way.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Legal settlements, contracts, investments, or any matter that can help you out financially should be dealt with. Money will come to you from an unusual source. Don't feel like you have to share what you receive.

Rejected DI Headlines:

• Fabric of the Cosmos Discovered to be Rayon

• Anemic Monarch Rules His Kingdom with an Iron Supplement

• Brotherhood of Evil Mutants to Merge with Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

• Justin Bieber Named as Voice of His Degeneration

• School Board Going Extra Mile to Incorporate the Metric System

• Toddler Born With Second Penis A Little Two Cocky

• Annual Shoe Fetishist Convention Operating on Shoestring Budget

• Wearing Jeans Straight from Dryer is America's Newest Hot Button Issue

• Changes in Obama Foreign Policy "Ill-Advised," Warns Miley Cyrus

• Machete-Wielding Lothario Disarming Local Women

• Lane Bryant Goes Bust Promoting New Line of Bras

• Vote on Amendment Outlawing Bisexuality Could Go Either Way

• Woman Fails Math Class Umpteenth Time

• March Named "April Awareness Month"

Andrew R. Juhl just loremmed his ipsum.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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