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Not quite hearing the wrap music

BY BEN VERHILLE | JANUARY 30, 2014 5:00 AM

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I hadn't heard very much about the new cultural venue in the Old Capitol mall, and now I know why.

Before I even get to what I ordered, I was told they didn't have beef this day. I suppose this may be common, but if it's on the menu, I kind of expect it to be available.

It's OK, though; I just ordered the typical wrap for a Mediterranean-style place. Even though the name implies wraps, the more popular ordered dishes are the Gobhi plates.

I didn't notice this until after I ordered, so keep that in mind. I probably could've ordered something a little more culturally relevant.

But the place is called Wraps 'N' Roll; I thought this was its specialty.

The line alone is confusing and inefficient. The small area inside doesn't allow for mistakes, so when arriving, you could walk into the already paid line or be awkwardly budging.

It is short-staffed, which is unsurprising for a recently established and maybe not quite an A for the health code, but there are some basic things I would expect.

When ordering the Olympus Gyro, I watched the person cook the wrap for it, no more than a flour tortilla. A little odd, but hey, they might know what they are doing.

They do give you generous portions, larger than I get downtown from the cart or even my little Oasis on Linn. But upon tasting the beef, I learned why. There were heavy patches of gristle on the gyro meat. Gyro, known for being tender meat that packs a powerful punch of flavor. Well, at most places.

The next station let you have your selection of ingredients. Cabbage, iceberg lettuce, onion, tomato, cucumber, green pepper, carrot shavings — all good vegetable options. But they will load them on like nobody's business. Maybe it's a good thing for me to force that many vegetables down, but this wrap became massive.

I was asked if I wanted "Gyro Sauce," which I only assumed meant Tzatziki sauce. Well yes, thank you, I guess.

I made the mistake of ordering the combo, which included fries and a fountain drink. The fries were absolutely flat and almost tasted like the ones that were still under the heat lamps the night before and were salvaged for a second day. At least throw some extra salt on them so I can pretend I'm not eating stale oil sticks.

The fountain soda, who could complain about that?

Well, me. I went over for my normal unsweetened iced tea, and there wasn't any ice. I mean, just go outside with an ice pick if you really can't make enough in the machine. It's definitely cold enough.

Sorry Wraps 'N' Roll, maybe it was a bad day for you. But at the very worst, you serve massive portions of food for a very low cost — $7 for my Combo Gyro.

Maybe next time I'll order the Gobhi and see if there's a reason the line is so long, aside from the service speed.


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