New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take pride in what you do, and aim to be proactive when it comes to making decisions and doing your best to help others. Take charge, and use persuasive tactics to ensure that you get what you want and prosper emotionally and financially.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Put greater emphasis on who you are and what you can do for others. Learn from past encounters and mistakes, and you will reach whatever destination you choose with fewer obstacles. Put love, romance, and personal matters first.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Discuss your goals or options with colleagues or someone who may be able to help you advance. Good fortune will be yours if you show greater interest in a project. Charm coupled with a heart-to-heart talk will bring good results.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Relationships are featured. Do your best to share your feelings and to secure your personal connection to someone special. Make personal changes that will encourage compliments and boost your confidence. Romance is on the rise, and plans should be initiated.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Be upfront about your intentions and plans. Check out your options and ask questions. Clear up any confusion that may be standing between you and a decision you are expected to make. Don't let someone's lack of support sway you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You are overdue for a little fun, pampering, or anything else that will add to your comfort and pleasure. Love is in the stars, and making plans with someone special will help you make an important personal decision. Avoid impulsive spending.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Protect your home, family, and future. Listen carefully, and observe how others react. Use your head; think matters through. Look for a unique way to handle any difficult matter that arises, and you will bypass a setback.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): React cautiously. Let your intuition guide and protect you from anyone trying to manipulate a conversation or situation. Use the experience you have gained in the past. A trip will prove to be beneficial and enhance your personal life.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A quick reaction will help you maneuver into a prime position. Using the element of surprise will help you avert a deceptive ploy to take advantage of you. Keep your emotions in check, and stay in front of the competition.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Focus on your goals, not on what others are up to. Feeling pressured or trying to keep up with someone who is unpredictable is a waste of time. Base your actions on facts and reason. Common sense will win out in the end.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put your intuition to the test. Make changes based on the way you feel, and you will find a way to get ahead emotionally and financially. A good idea must not be allowed to expand too quickly. What you do must be durable.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It's what you do to make amends or help others that will make a difference to the outcome of a situation you face. Good things come to those who wait. Bide your time, and do things properly the first time around.

I put my pants on just like the rest of you … :

• Grudgingly.

• Under court order.

• I have my pants servant, Geoffrey, hold them open for me whilst two of my lesser servants lift and lower me into them. Then my zipper maid, Abigail, does the rest.

• Groggily shaking my head, trying to figure out whose apartment I'm in and just why there's so much blood. So. Much. Blood.

• Halfway to work after I set the cruise control.

• With a surprising amount of media coverage.

• Accompanied by Ride of the Valkyries.

• To the protestations of sexual beings everywhere.

• Only after I've received IRB approval.

• Over my Depends.

• After like EVERYONE at that bar mitzvah asked me to.

• After carefully consulting the use directions so nobody gets hurt.

• Velcro up the side.

• Only I don't feel the need to post a damned selfie afterwards.

• By jumping feet first through my patent-pending "swaddling hoop."

• One leg at a time. Only then, I make gold records.

• One leg, then the other, then the other.

• But take those off so I can see how you do it, just to make sure I'm getting it right.

• Search floor. Sniff. Wear.

• Excitedly, because of my passion for pockets!

• To find my keys.

• To hide my shame.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks the Ledge Crowdsourcing Facebook group for collaborating on today's Ledge.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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