New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take a practical approach to everything you do, and you will eliminate criticism and ridicule. Self-improvements that boost your confidence will get you moving down a positive path. Don't let partners dictate your actions. Equality is required to make a relationship work properly.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do your own thing. Make choices based on what you want, but don't tell others what they should do. You'll get the most mileage if you are honest about what you want and if you refrain from being stubborn, demanding, or excessive.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Use your wisdom, experience, and creative imagination to lead you to victory. Charm coupled with finesse and mystery will make socializing fun and bring about new friendships and opportunities to do things differently. Keep your spending to a minimum.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Make choices based on your abilities. Minor adjustments to your residence may upset someone if you don't ask first. A window of opportunity will enable you to present what you have to offer and gain support. Listen to someone with experience.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll face frustrations at home, but that shouldn't stop you from exploring new interests or connecting with people who share your desires. Travel, and get involved in partnerships, but don't push your luck when dealing with authority figures.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Make plans with friends, or sign up for an interest, course, or event that is conducive to socializing. You'll find out valuable information if you watch what happens to people in similar situations. Romance will improve your love life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Make subtle changes at home, but don't go over your budget. Talk to experts about your plans. Getting started will be much easier if you have local support from people in the know. Aggressive action will change the dynamics of a personal relationship.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Shutting someone out will not solve the problem. Take a physical approach by doing things that reflect the way you feel. An emotional change will alter your financial situation. Travel will open up a new friendship with someone you respect.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Keep your emotions in check and out of business deals. It's important to be innovative, but you also have to be shrewd if you are going to get your way. A change in the way you live will be costly but pleasing.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You'll have an opportunity to start something new, but before you jump in, make sure you are doing it for the right reason. Taking on too much will backfire, costing you mentally, physically, and financially. Don't make unnecessary changes.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put more emphasis on sealing a deal. Make your move, and show everyone how ready, willing, and determined you are to accept and follow through with important personal change. Discipline and hard work will bring unexpected rewards.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Offer your assistance, and you will raise your profile as well as encourage offers from people who can help you expand your own interests; however, don't take anything or anyone for granted — a disagreement or loss will broadside you.

Diets That'll Get You in Shape in 2014:

• Only eat paella, and only eat paella that you make yourself. Yay. You're far too lazy to make paella and will soon lose weight.

• Only eat what you can kill yourself with a claw hammer and Frisbee.

• Only eat foods that violently offend those around you. The ensuing chase to avoid a deadly beating is sure to burn more calories than you consumed.

• Only eat food you hate. Burn additional calories while writing angry missives to ConAgra.

• Only eat crunchy foods in silent rooms full of people trying to work.

• Only eat frozen food, and don't heat it up first.

• Only eat foods that come packaged in really hard to break into safes. Burn additional calories while yegging with crowbar lever lifts and under the heat of an acetylene torch. Hell, by the time you finally access the food, you might not even want it anymore.

• Only eat foods you find under couch, sofa, and chair cushions. This morning's breakfast? A battery, a lint covered screw, a penny, and — for desert — a Cheeto.

• The Bear Hands Diet: Only eat food from a bear's hands.

• Supplement your existing diet with healthy doses of Vitamin R enriched malk and some good thick miak. If you don't know what those are, just keep looking and don't eat anything else until you've found them.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks the Ledge Crowdsourcing Facebook group for contributing to today's Ledge.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

In today's issue:

Privacy Policy (8/15/07) | Terms of Use (4/28/08) | Content Submission Agreement (8/23/07) | Copyright Compliance Policy (8/25/07) | RSS Terms of Use

Copyright © The Daily Iowan, All Rights Reserved.