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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Problems at home will develop if you are overly emotional. Try to maintain your equilibrium. Temper tantrums caused by added stress will surface, taking a toll on the relationships you have with friends and family. Keep busy, and you'll avoid trouble.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Industry parties or getting together with clients or peers will result in a different perspective on and greater knowledge about how to make your work relationships more effective; however, refrain from sharing personal information. An emotional relationship will improve if you offer romance.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Be creative when it comes to your financial concerns. A job you take on will be a learning experience that will lead to new ways of raising your earning potential. Recognizing what you do well will help you explore new possibilities.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't let moodiness take over. Embrace what's being offered instead of pushing someone away who just wants to help. Show good will and generosity, and you will be surprised by the response you receive. Be mindful of those you love.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Do the unexpected. Believe in your abilities, and head in a direction that entices you. Taking an aggressive approach won't be well received by everyone, but standing up for your rights will end up being to your benefit.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Participate in organized events that are geared toward helping others. Your generosity will be welcomed by outsiders but criticized by someone who expects your undivided attention. Don't fold under pressure. Benevolence will bring high returns.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Learning, sharing your experiences, and discussing plans that can help you advance should be your priority. Problems at home can be sparked if someone expects too much from you. Make it clear what you will tolerate and what you will not.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Love and romance should be high on your list. Taking time to go out with someone special and enjoy an interest you both share will bring you closer together. A unique offering will put you in a dominant position.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Decorate or move things around to better accommodate your lifestyle and plans for the festive season. A change will brighten your outlook and impress someone you care about. Actions speak louder than words. Take care of personal paperwork.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Avoid unpredictable situations. Step back, and focus on what you can do for the people you love most. Engage in home improvements and bringing people together. A relationship will improve if you keep a promise you made.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Learn from someone with more experience, but don't let anyone put unreasonable demands on you. Showing your intelligence and speaking up when you don't understand or agree will be necessary if you want to gain respect and personal confidence.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Enjoying social events and taking part in charitable organizations will open up opportunities to expand your interests and your friendships. Shopping will lead to great buys. Love is in the stars, and giving someone special a peaceful evening will be appreciated.



Accolades that have been edited out of Superman's standard introduction:

• Able to do the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle in under 10 minutes.

• Spicier than a ghost chili.

• Able to look manly in a slanket.

• More helpful than Wikipedia.

• Able to watch Old Yeller without crying.

• Smells faintly of lavender.

• Accelerates faster than an out-of-control Toyota Corolla, AND is capable of stopping.

• More intoxicating than four fingers of Kentucky bourbon.

• More thoughtful than a boyfriend who used to be your best friend and wants to impress your parents during his first Christmas at your family's place.

• Capable of rocking you like a hurricane.

• More colorful than a sailor's recounted shore-leave exploits.

• Huggably, squeezably soft.

• Able to wear white after Labor Day.

• Is an above-average dancer.

• More caustic than your mother-in-law's opinion of everything you've ever done.

• Cosmetologist to the Stars.

• Fair and balanced.

• Capable of being a brown-nosing kiss-ass who'll do anything for the promotion we both know I deserved to get.

• Hypoallergenic.

• Knows about that thing you like. You know. That thing you like. No, not that one; the other one. The really dirty one. Yeah … that one. He knows about it.

Andrew R. Juhl is more powerful than a (toy) locomotive. He is able to leap (toy) tall buildings in a single bound. He is faster (in bed) than speeding bullet. He's lonely.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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