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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Re-evaluate your choices. Make a list of what you have to offer, and you'll realize how you can tailor your services to a wider variety of clients. Spruce up your living quarters or alter your personal routine. Don't overindulge.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Emotions coupled with stubbornness will hold you back. Shake off any ill feelings you might have, and project a positive image if you want things to fall into place. Romance will improve a relationship that's important to you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Keep moving. You have no time to waste if you want to take advantage of the offers being made. A partnership appears to be undergoing positive changes that can increase your security and improve your lifestyle. Make travel plans.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Lean toward unusual events and activities. The more you do to stretch your creative imagination, the more you will have to offer. Avoid overspending or making impulsive purchases if you go shopping. Self-improvement projects will bring good results.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't let emotional confusion hold you back. Get into the swing of things, and enjoy getting together with friends. A change of plans or visiting or participating in a new place or activity will enhance your outlook.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A unique approach to a job you've been asked to do will bring you good fortune. Don't let a domestic problem cost you time and money. Make your choice clear and move on. Truth may be an issue. Check and present facts.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You may be in demand when it comes to giving advice, but be careful when dealing with emotional matters. What you say may be misconstrued as meddling, resulting in changes you will be forced to acknowledge and deal with.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don't leave anything to chance. As long as you stay on top of matters, you will have nothing to fear and no regrets. Dress your surroundings up to suit your personality, but don't lose sight of the costs involved. Make romantic plans.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Memories will get you thinking about old friends. Make arrangements to reunite with someone you miss. Consider altering your current domestic situation. You can make a move, but be careful you don't take on more than you can afford.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): High energy and a little finesse will get you into the game, but keeping you there will be another story. An impulsive move may appear to be your best choice, but you are likely to have regrets. Focus on love, not money.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don't wait for someone to make choices for you. Jump in, and do whatever has to be done in order to avoid delays or restrictions because of someone's lack of transparency. Emotions must not be ignored. Listen to your heart.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Dealing with institutions will be difficult. Getting the information you need isn't likely to fall into place easily. Misdirection and false accusations are apparent. Do your legwork, and get the facts before you make a permanent move. Better to be safe than sorry.

A B.A. in English is about as useful as …

• Rick Allen at a clapping contest.

• a helicopter with an ejector seat.

• a PlayStation controller at a Halo tournament.

• the "share" button on RedTube.

• Kate Capshaw in the Temple of Doom.

• candy-coated dingleberries.

• a spare tire on a tank.

• an iPhone with an AT&T contract.

• Hodor in a spelling bee.

• a milk chocolate tampon.

• a five-day forecast for Phoenix in July.

• a ticking bomb with a HUGE DIGITAL COUNTDOWN DISPLAY.

• pleading the 18th.

• unshelled walnuts at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

• a book teaching you how to read.

• a diet soda in Val Kilmer's fridge.

• Tycho Brahe's opinions on cologne.

• a roll of quarters at the strip club.

• political conversations on Facebook.

• a doctorate in Tuba Performance.

• comic sans on a résumé.

• any résumé on CareerBuilder.Com, for that matter.

• Basic Instinct on network television.

• thinking God would be fooled by Pascal's wager.

• a deconstruction of the use of dramatic irony in selected historical tragedies from mid- to late-16th century Welsh playwrights.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Drew Bielinski, Tom Brantseg, Erik S. Johnson, Paul Switalski, Kate Wohlman, and Nate Wulf for contributing to today's Ledge.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
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• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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