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New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!



ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take a break, and clear your head regarding personal and professional situations that are costing you. Readdress whatever situation you face so you can make a change that will help distance you from anyone causing you grief.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Love, family, and gatherings will lift your spirits. Make romantic plans, or focus on a creative endeavor that excites you. Your generosity with older friends or relatives will be appreciated and bring you unexpected benefits. Travel plans can be made.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Make changes that will help a friend or support an organization you believe in. Trust in what you know and can do but not in what someone else promises you. Do your own thing, and refuse to let anyone dismantle your plans.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Set your goals, and head to the finish line. This can turn out to be a highly auspicious period for you with regard to love, money, and contracts if you make decisions based on your personal needs. Take action, and make things happen.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't let personal matters stand between you and your professional responsibilities. Get down to business, and consider offers that have the potential to change your course in life. Embrace challenge, but keep demands at arm's length.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Socializing, networking, or wheeling and dealing in order to get what you want should highlight your day. Do your research, and make your choices based on facts and figures. You can win if you are pragmatic and well-informed.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Sit back, and watch what others do and say. Avoid being pulled into something you really don't want to be part of. Change can be good, but it must be based on your needs, not what everyone else wants. Ulterior motives are present.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Organization will lead to victory. An opportunity to work alongside someone you admire will help you grow personally and raise your interest in following through with your own goals. Love and romance are highlighted, and travel plans look promising.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Check out the possibilities, and consider ways to advance, but don't step on someone's toes. You are likely to get into a debate if you have not been mindful of others. Make personal changes at home to avoid discord.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Step into the spotlight, and make the alterations that will ensure your success. Your ability to get things done will encourage others to step up and lend you a hand. A money deal will bring you good fortune and more opportunities.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): False information is apparent. Speak on your own behalf. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. Use charm and intelligence to get out of a sticky situation. Focus on work and earning more, along with building a secure home base.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Deals can be made, and financial benefits put into place. Let your intuition lead you to new and exciting ventures that are based on knowledge and know-how you have acquired in the past. Revamp and resubmit a project with pride.



On Puppies:

• Puppies are like babies. But better. Because they're puppies.

• Puppies that will never grow up to be vile human beings. Because they're puppies.

• Puppies don't drink too much. And they don't get drunk to the point of not knowing where they are or what they're doing or trying to do. They already don't know that crap. Because they barely know anything. Because they're puppies.

• Puppies don't lie to you. Puppies don't tell you they love you, then turn on you when say the same thing to someone else. And they sure as hell don't say, "Sorry, but this person is more important to my puppy needs, but if I'm ever in your area, I'm totally down for some belly rubs and smooches." And when do they like someone else, it's for puppy reasons, which are adorable. Because they're puppies.

• Puppies won't order you a pizza when you've had a bad day. As near as I can tell, this is the only bad thing about puppies.

• But puppies also never look at the night sky. And think how insignificant and meaningless their life is. And how they're just a bunch of atoms stuck to a rock that's hurling around a giant explosion in the middle of a bunch of other giant explosions in the middle of a bunch of even huger explosions that make up just a fraction of what constitutes existence. They see the stars and they think, "That's a thing, but I'm a puppy, so I'm going to go play and poop and possibly eat a part of that poop." Because they're puppies, and that's what puppies do.

Andrew R. Juhl compiled and edited the above from contributions by Matt Gorman.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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