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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Consistency will be the key to getting things done and avoiding criticism. An emotional issue will crop up with someone you are in a partnership with. Try not to overreact, or you may face strong opposition. Make love, not war.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Get whatever you have to say out in the open, or you may be accused of withholding information. Face any opposition head-on, and you will rectify any problems you face and impress someone you respect.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You have to make things happen and be a generous giver in order to get back. Don't be fooled by someone trying to manipulate a situation or using emotional blackmail. Focus on what you want and what you have to offer.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Negativity will not lead to success. A change someone makes may not be to your liking, but you are best to concentrate on your skills, knowledge, and experience and how you can best use these qualities to get ahead.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Plan to travel or visit someone you haven't seen in a while. Focus on fun, entertainment, and romance. Doing something that will make you feel good about yourself or improve the way you look will add to your confidence.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You could be feeling the financial squeeze after overspending on a frivolous but well-intentioned venture. Lending or borrowing will cause you grief and stress. Offer suggestions, not financial assistance. Volunteer your time, not your cash.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Back away from unpredictable individuals. Uncertainty will tie up your time and hold you back. Make your decisions based on facts and don't look back. Don't cave to or give in to pressure. Put more time into a friendship, or cultivate a romantic relationship.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You'll be right on target when it comes to how to best use your skills to advance. Reunite with someone you have worked with in the past, and you will find a new way to collaborate. A change in style or appearance could boost your visibility.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Travel plans can lead to delays or unexpected mishaps. Caution must be taken when dealing with situations that have the potential to be confusing or unpredictable. Making alterations to your living arrangements will be beneficial.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Use common sense and business savvy when it comes to closing a deal. Taking on added responsibilities will be difficult but also bring you one step closer to your long-term goal. An emotional situation should be handled carefully.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Consider past mistakes, and you'll avoid facing similar problems. Making adjustments to how you earn a living or handle money will benefit you in the future. Saving now will ensure that you get what you really want later.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do your own fact-finding. Someone is likely to lead you astray. Don't trust the competition or anyone who is prying into your activities or your plans for the future. Expand your activities to suit your needs and financial goals.



A partial list of things I should probably tell every prospective girlfriend:

• I have a crippling addiction to rehab facilities.

• I'm pretty nonchalant about taking my OCD meds.

• Every time I eat Chinese food, I throw away a small fortune.

• Though I'm an accomplished chef, no kitchen in the area will hire me because of my predilection for making off-color jokes about cumin in the food.

• The closest I come to multitasking is every day after lunch, when I nap and digest.

• I've got two tickets to paradise. They're both coach. One is for me. The other one is also for me. I like elbow room and women who pay their own way.

• I will only eat Mexican food if I'm in California or Texas. Those people just know how to make better Doritos Locos Taco is all.

• My blood type matches the grades I usually get: Oh … negative.

• I will sit through literally ANY MOVIE if you tell me there's a post-credits scene.

• When it comes to sex, I would prefer you "teach to the test."

• I loved Stieg Larsson's Lisbeth Salander Trilogy so much that you can also refer to me as "The Man with the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Tattoo."

• I live in an expertly crafted house of lies, so be careful not to remove a load-bearing dishonesty.

Andrew R. Juhl wants you to know that last one was a lie.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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