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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get all the information you can from reliable sources before you make a decision that will alter where you work or live. Don't let restlessness cause you to leap before you take a thorough look at exactly what you are getting into.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Make observations, and consider your options. The information you gather now will help you make a positive change to the way you live and the people you associate with. A partnership will allow you to branch out in a new direction.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Consider any differences you are experiencing with a partner, roommate, or colleague and make a point to resolve issues. Someone new is likely to capture your attention. Take care of old projects before you begin new ones.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Stick to the truth. Exaggeration will get you into trouble. You have plenty of opportunities and are best to spend your time learning instead of pretending to know everything. Uncertainty is the enemy, and knowledge leads to victory.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't let a difficult situation at home hold you back. Listen to grievances, but don't let anything stand between you and your dreams. Networking and mingling with influential people will help you expand your interests and opportunities. Romance is in the stars.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get to know people in your community better and share your ideas for change and improvement. You will draw a lot of attention if you take a leadership position. Be ready to back your thoughts with facts. You will be questioned.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Do whatever makes you happy. Get together with friends, or do something special with the one you love, but don't let personal matters at home lead to uncertainty. If someone pushes you to make a change you aren't ready for, back away.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Expand your interests, and visit destinations that are inspirational. Opening up to ideas offered by those from unusual backgrounds will help you explore and develop new means and methods of doing things. Someone from your past is likely to surface.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You've got the drive to get from one position to another, but you must approach whomever you deal with professionally and honestly. Once you clarify what you can do, positive developments will begin to unfold. Love is highlighted.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Stick to a routine, and finish what you start. Your dedication will bring good results. Staying in touch with people you have worked with in the past will lead to an opportunity to advance. Express your desires.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Restrictions are apparent. Say little, do a lot. Persuading others that you have what it takes will only happen if you take action. Romance is on the rise, and plans for a playful evening should be put in place.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You'll confuse someone if you aren't clear about your feelings or what you expect. Don't rely on others. It's up to you to close a deal or make a change. An investment looks promising, but a personal situation appears costly.



Questions I've Asked Myself Recently:

• Where, precisely, does the frittata fall on the quiche-omelet spectrum?

• Is it ever acceptable to mock the people eating at Olive Garden when you yourself are dining there?

• Why is it that the further and further I get from babyhood, the more and more I just want a pair of boobies in my face?

• What happens if you reject a hotel's turn-down service?

• Do kids these days even know that the "record scratch" sound is supposed to be a record scratch, or do they just think it's the nondiagetic noise a TV producer makes whenever a Kardashian says something stupid?

• How do you milk a coconut? Is rice a mammal? Where are an almond's nipples?

• Does it even count as phone sex if my grandmother doesn't know what I'm doing with my other hand?

• When will that stodgy Nobel committee start considering my tweets and Facebook posts as legitimate (and prize-worthy) works of literature?

• How more many glasses of Scotch can I drink before this glass of Scotch is my second-to-last glass of lunch Scotch?

• What on earth does Jeff Bezos' wife get him for Christmas?

• But aren't all roads "surface roads?"

• Why do people ask so many rhetorical questions?

• How am I ever supposed to love someone who loves me for being me?

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Jayne Sanderson and Brian Tanner for contributing to today's Ledge.






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