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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Follow your heart and your dreams. Your ambitious attitude will contribute to connecting with people heading in a similar direction. Form a unique group of hand-picked individuals, and everything else will fall into place. Think big; take positive action.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don't share your thoughts if you think they will upset someone. The people you are dealing with aren't likely to have the same intentions or direction as you. A difficult decision may be necessary. Satisfy your needs first and foremost.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Follow through with promises you make, and everyone will be happy. Finding solutions for others will turn you into the go-to person, but when trying to solve personal problems, you are likely to be emotionally self-deceptive. Home improvement will pay off.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't overspend on items you don't need. Being generous will not buy love, respect, or loyalty. Eliminate your problem by addressing issues head-on. Emotional encounters should be geared toward passion, not aggression, jealousy, or revenge.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't say yes to everyone. Being too generous will get you into trouble. Offer wisdom in a caring manner, and you will make a difference. If you exhibit a pushy attitude, you will be accused of interfering.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Keep your mind on whatever you are doing. Address responsibilities head-on, offering diverse, smart solutions, but don't fight someone else's battles. False information will lead to someone taking advantage of you. Do your homework.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Re-evaluate what isn't working for you and make adjustments. Participate in an event that you feel passionate about, and it will lead to meeting new people. This is not the time to spend money, but offering your time will make a difference.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Jealousy will lead to loss. Consider why you feel the way you do, and make the changes required. Strive to reach success regardless of what others do, and you will feel satisfied in the end. Romance is highlighted. Make love, not war.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Put greater emphasis on taking action. Talking about what you want to do will no longer impress those waiting for you to deliver the goods. Make a difference by taking charge and following through. You can progress if you start with self-improvement.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't be afraid to take a different route or explore avenues and alternatives that require you to rely on someone else. Explore a change of location or do the research that will help put your mind at ease.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some people are better off avoided. Don't be a glutton for punishment. If something isn't working, move on. Focus on what and who can and will make a difference to your life and your future. Pick and choose what works for you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take advantage of any and every opportunity. Share what you have to offer, and you will persuade others to use your service, talent, or knowledge in diverse ways. A partnership may be suggested, but it might not be in your best interest.

We hold these truths to be self-evident (and a little nerdy):

• Dismissing a low-battery warning on a cell phone or laptop is probably as close to Han Solo's "Never tell me the odds" moment as most of us will ever get.

• When you sit down and really think about things, it's pretty weird that President Rushmore had four heads.

• No two ways about it: It's great we live in an age in which, if people wanted to, they could probably search the Internet and find an image of Jessica Rabbit in an Iron Man suit fighting an angry RoboCop without too much effort.

• James Bond is easily the world's best spy who's also the world's worst spy when it comes to not telling people his real name.

• Life does indeed move pretty fast, Mr. Bueller. So maybe if you didn't keep stopping and looking around all the time, you'd be able to keep up with it.

• The thing most people forget about character the Gambler in the song "The Gambler" is that he dies. Given that bit of information, one must question that soundness of taking gambling advice from an almost dead man who can't afford his own whiskey, cigarette, or lighter.

• Seriously. Doc Brown. Hitler? Seriously, Doc? Seriously? Hitler, Doc Brown. Seriosuly.

Andrew R. Juhl has too much time on his hands (he wears clock gloves).

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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