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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Taking on too much will cause pressure, undue stress and sudden changes that require additional time and effort. Gauge your time and stick to a routine. Invest in your skills, not in helping someone else get ahead.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do things differently. Taking a unique approach to an old idea will show off your talent. Someone is likely to be jealous or threatened by you. Offer your support and it will help turn an enemy into an ally.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Make positive changes in the way you help others. Offer services, time and physical assistance that can be easily documented. Keep any suggestions that may cause emotional disputes to yourself. Diplomacy is essential if you want to have things done your way.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don't spend too much energy trying to impress someone who is impossible to please. You'll get far more gratification out of doing things that will help you get ahead or pursuing something you enjoy. Creative projects will lead to greater opportunities.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Don't let troubles at home get you down. Get out and socialize with friends or take part in community events. Sharing your ideas and making new acquaintances will improve your emotional outlook and help you make important personal decisions.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get involved in projects that can improve the environment around you. Show greater initiative to be part of your community. Refrain from making impulsive changes at home. What's really required is patience, understanding and time to let things develop naturally.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Hanging out with friends and discussing plans for the future will result in incentive and enthusiasm to turn your ideas into reality. Don't let an old issue hurt your chance to follow a dream. Address pending problems and put the past behind you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Focus on personal goals and discuss plans with someone you want involved in your life. You will know where you stand and how you can get around any obstacle that stands in your way. Love will take a positive turn.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your emotions will be stirred up by any impulsive move you make. Acting in haste due to an incident that happens between you and a friend, peer or neighbor will turn out to be in your best interest. Actions count.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The spotlight will be yours and what you do will make a difference to your reputation. Speak openly and aggressively, and force issues that will put an end to a problem that has made your life difficult.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Listen, observe and protect what you have worked so hard to accomplish. A change in your money matters will be a relief and enable you to raise your standard of living; however, money in the bank will ease your stress.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Look over contracts, investments and other personal paperwork that can make a difference to the way you move forward. Don't let emotions stand between you and making a reasonable choice. You must consider every angle and do what's best for you.



30 Items from My House Confusable with Complicated Sexual Maneuvers:

1. A Three-Hole Punch

2. A Stuffed Aardvark

3. A Rug Gripper Deluxe

4. Alpine Ear Plugs

5. An Electric Tea Kettle

6. A Ruby Red Chin Strap

7. A Viking Helmet

8. A Portuguese Double-Lever Corker

9. A Rusty Melon Baller

10. Grease in the Coffee Can

11. A Tilt ’n’ Swivel Charger

12. A Vegan Coin Purse

13. A Cord Bundler

14. Sticky Safety Scissors

15. A Full DVR

16. A Chocolate Recliner

17. A Multispeed Juicer

18. Elephant Bookends

19. A Widemouth Snifter

20. The Loose Puzzle Piece

21. A Dusty Ceiling

22. A Plush Goomba

23. The Sleeping Cat/The Lazy Dog

24. A Broken Lawnmower

25. An Ice Maker

26. A French Press

27. A Freestanding Elliptical

28. Grandma’s Hummels

29. A Five-in-One Shower Nozzle

30. Three Captive Hobos

Andrew R. Juhl thanks LT, DH, ML, KJ, DL, SH, KB, BP, BM, KW, AJ, YC, SW, and SL for contributing to today’s Ledge.






>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn


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