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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Refuse to stand by and watch. Be a participant, and show everyone what you have to offer. Use whatever you've been given, and you will start a trend or standard among your peers. Believe in your ability to be successful.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): An emotional issue must not be allowed to influence your work. Being productive will help ease your stress and build your confidence. Learn from your experience and by observing what others do. Anger is a waste of time.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Use your imagination when it comes to the way you handle money, work, and the people you do business with. Take a moment to update your image or to improve your appearance. Being at your very best will make a difference.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Plan your next move. Don't limit what you can accomplish. Be aggressive, not impulsive; be innovative, not impractical. Know your limits and express your strengths openly and confidently. If you want it, make it happen.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You'll gain respect for the information you share and be privy to facts that can help you dodge a misunderstanding. Use your reputation and experience to avoid putting your energy in the wrong place. Play to win.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You'll learn from the experiences you've had dealing with people in your community or from different walks of life. Communication will be your channel to improvements, and enforce your dedication to your beliefs and direction. Donate time, not cash.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Listen and learn. Take a back seat, and avoid being dragged into a situation that has the potential to spin out of control. Taking on too much or feeling the need to overdo it must be avoided. Personal change can be liberating.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Live up to your word, and give even more if you can. You can stand out and be counted for your talents, expertise, and ability to get things done. Enjoy the rewards and take time to celebrate your accomplishments with someone you love.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Help others, and feel good about who you are and what you can contribute. Don't be surprised if someone you are close to feels threatened and tries to play down what you have done. It's time to make changes to your living arrangements.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Size up your situation, and generate interest in what you are doing while you raise your profile. The recommendations that are given may not appear to be what you want at first, but in hindsight, you will be grateful for them.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Listen to what's being said and make whatever changes you feel are fair and necessary. Carry on with a job or situation you face. Love and communication will bring about positive change and good fortune.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Put ideas and plans together, and draw up a list of rules and goals to accomplish. Share your plans, and you will enjoy the benefits that you are offered and the results you get. Deals can be made and contracts signed.

I just made a pot of coffee so strong that … (1/2):

• it's putting chests on my hair.

• it just suffered a major setback with quiet dignity.

• it's going toe-to-joe against the Rock in his next movie.

• the Colombian government just installed a consulate in my kitchen.

• it just lifted a fallen tree off the broken leg of a missing Boy Scout.

• if you dunk your doughnut in it, the doughnut come back a bagel.

• it … it … ABSORBED my Flintstones chewable vitamins. Now it's 10 MILLION TIMES STRONGER … AND GROWING.

• it can only be sweetened by sugar grown in the Fields of Elysium, and it will only accept half & half that was produced by Bovinitus, the trickster god of cows.

• it simply WALKED into Mordor.

• I just got a call from Walter White about a "business opportunity."

• it's not even correct to call it "coffee" at this point; it is now "the drink what shall not be named."

• Zod kneels before it.

• its hair just turned bright yellow and started glowing. Did I mention the hair?

• Maxwell House just asked me to sign a nonproliferation treaty.

Andrew R. Juhl thanks Maneesh K, Erik J, and Kyle J for contributing to today's Ledge.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
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Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
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• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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