New Feature! Sudoku below Horoscopes and Ledge, play online or print it out!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nurture your important relationships and focus on home, family, and your surroundings. Don’t make unnecessary changes, but alter what will make your life better. Express your interests and desires, and embrace feedback with thought and courtesy.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Express your thoughts, and make plans with the people you cherish most. Visiting a friend will lift your spirits. Love is on the rise, and socializing or getting in touch with someone you care about will improve your life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put greater emphasis on how you earn your living or what you are doing to raise your profile. Don’t be afraid to do things a little differently. It’s your diversification that will lead to success. A change will be beneficial.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): An emotional situation may be difficult to decipher. What you see won’t give you a true assessment of the situation. Ask questions, and refrain from overreacting. Once you get the facts, you will see the benefits. Love is on the rise.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You can make changes, but don’t be too vocal about your plans. Someone is likely to try to restrict you. A change of location, travel plans, or gathering information that will help you advance should be your focus. Don’t let love cost you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Size up your situation, and make a move. You have more influence than you realize, and you can overcome the pressures of anyone trying to slow you down. Conversations will put you in a good position and help you drum up additional support.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’ll face confrontations if you are too vocal. Go about your business, making sure you get chores out of the way to avoid criticism. Don’t push others or allow anyone to push you into something you don’t care to do.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You really need a getaway or a diversion to spark your creative imagination or enhance your love life. Dream, then take action. It’s time to make things happen. Use your will coupled with desire, and you will reach your goals.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Put your time and effort into personal matters. Taking care of investments, medical conditions, or legal matters will help stabilize your life. A change at home may not be welcomed, but it will prove to be beneficial.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Strategy, hard work, and using your knowledge and experience will pay off. Physical self-improvements will result in compliments and a new lease on life. A partnership will enhance your future and bring about new opportunities and greater prosperity.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Assess your situation. Take a hard look at your finances, and figure out what you must do to improve your lifestyle. By using your skills and the connections you have, there will be a unique way for you to make positive changes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Network, socialize, and expand your interests, and you will get ahead. Take the road less traveled, and focus on the services you can offer your community in order to raise awareness as well as your profile. Greater prosperity is heading your way.


Why go to doctors?
I went to a doctor once;
She gave me cancer.

My mind is ceaseless.
My intellect, limitless.
Um … more syllables.

Enjoyable pairing:
wild turkey and Wild Turkey.
Thanksy Hapgivings.

Whatever happens,
I will be proud of my son.
I named him “Doctor.”

From my comfy chair
to the liquor cabinet:
exactly 12 steps.

The mousetraps don’t work.
Maybe I should just buy it
a motorcycle?

Dragging ass today,
so I drank seven Red Bulls.

I love how the rain
clears away my mind and the
bird poop off my car.

I want you to know
I’ve had a wonderful time,
and this wasn’t it.

Thou art mine shepherd,
but, Lord, is not thou a tad

Opening her bras
when the clasp is in the front:
a French door of boobs.

Andrew R. Juhl,
you should write him a haiku;
he did so for you.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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