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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Settle in, and get things accomplished. Mixing business with pleasure will give you an edge when it comes to soliciting someone's support. Love is in the stars, and celebrating your success with someone special will enhance your relationship.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Listen carefully; you will pick up valuable information that can help you use your experiences and skills to help someone in need or to reach out and grab an opportunity that will lead to your advancement. Plan a vacation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You can make a difference if you participate in a cause you feel passionate about. Don't let a last-minute change someone makes ruin your plans. Add a nice touch to your residence and enjoy the moment. Romance is in the stars.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Find a creative way to make little changes that will enhance you mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially. Discussions and interacting with peers will add to your options and bring you closer to achieving a goal you set.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Initiate change, but first make sure you aren't going to upset someone or something you are responsible for. Include others in your plans, or take care of any obligations you have first. A change of heart is apparent.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Do your best to help others and to get involved in community or family activities. Don't let an emotional incident stand between you and the people, places, and things you want to experience the most. Stubbornness won't lead to personal gains.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don't let the little things get you down. Allow time to rethink your professional strategy and the best way to improve your reputation or status. A relationship you have with someone will be instrumental in helping you make a decision.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Push for what you want. The stars are aligned, and the opportunity to get your way is apparent. Don't hold back when you have so much to gain. Protect your health and physical wellness, and focus on your mental, creative, and intuitive abilities.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Plan to have some fun. Live, love, and laugh. Travel plans may take a few twists and turns, but the adventure will lead down an interesting path. A change in the way you move forward personally is apparent.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Focus on relationships. Make sure you aren't taken for granted or treated unfairly in the way you deal with loved ones. Sharing will make your day happy and your relationships with others worthwhile.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Listen, but don't be too quick to respond. What's going on around you is likely to present some confusing scenarios that need time to play out. Concentrate on making personal changes that will make you feel good, look good, and do well.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your insight will be fine-tuned. Let your intuition guide you in matters concerning investments, children, creative endeavors, and your home and family. Expect to receive a boost to the way you live and the things you are able to do.


DMB and Christ.
I like them both all right, but
their fan clubs scare me.

Then: gin, Goldschläger,
brandy, and peppermint schnapps.
Now: puking Christmas.

You're my honeydew
and my little pookie-poo.
What's your name again?

Have you lost some weight?
That was not a compliment.
I liked you fatter.

I was arrested
for availing myself of
a well-placed mailbox.

The Old Drawing Board.
I keep going back to you.
Are YOU the problem?

is a hallmark of my jokes.
And I suck at it.

Girlfriend, I love you.
Let's go on a vacation.
Don't tell my wife.

It took quite awhile
but now I know what I want:
a little more time.

I wish to be turned.
Blood-sucking, pale complexion,
lots more time to read.

Using the haiku
is a risky maneuver
because space is lim —

Andrew R. Juhl,
you should write him a haiku;
he did so for you.

>> Click here to submit an event!

• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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