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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Make self-improvements instead of trying to change others. Rethink the way you are living. Don't make abrupt changes. Plan your strategy, and ease into whatever you feel will bring you the best results over the longest duration.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Speak up, especially when dealing with business or personal partners. If you don't voice your opinion, you won't get what you want. Travel plans can be made, but caution must be taken when dealing with foreigners or institutions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your interests will take you in an unusual direction. You will instinctively know what changes to make in order to enhance your appearance or make your surroundings more comfortable or conducive to something you want to pursue. Love is in the stars.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Refrain from overreacting. Problems will result if you are impulsive, overindulgent, or emotionally difficult to get along with. Take a step back, and rethink your every move. Focus on creative endeavors you can work on without interference.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You will attract people willing to contribute to whatever your cause might be, but they are not likely to follow through. Find a way to make needed improvements or changes on your own. Love is in the stars, and self-improvement projects will turn out well.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Take a creative or unusual approach to the way you handle people or partners. Share your concerns, and you will receive some suggestions that can make your life easier. Helping others will be well-received and ensure you get the same in return.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Listen carefully to what's being said. You may be asked to do things that go against your beliefs. An emotional change is likely to cause problems for you at work or at home. Consider your needs first. Refuse to let pushy people take over.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Interact as much as possible. You'll learn from the experiences you encounter. You can stabilize your personal life by making unique alterations to the way you live. Explore new ideas, people, and places. Keep emotions out of the workplace.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Make changes at home that will add to your comfort. Love is on the rise, and relationships can make a difference to the way you move forward both personally and professionally. A realistic approach to life and relationships will be necessary.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Stick close to home. People from different backgrounds will cause trouble within your important partnerships. Keep your thoughts concise and out in the open to avoid rumors or blame for something you didn't do.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Count your money, look over your important papers, and don't promise too much. Keep life simple and avoid impulsive change. Love is in the stars, but it can also turn out to be a costly venture. Proceed with caution.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take on whatever comes your way. Embrace the future with gusto. Make personal, financial, and professional changes that will ensure that you are able to keep up your standard of living. An unusual approach to the way you live will pay off and ease stress.

Re-examining a few more well-known sayings:

• "No man is an island." Except for Island Man. But he's a mutant. And a damn fine superhero. Plus a reasonable vacation destination.

• "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." The ex of my ex is also my friend. And his ex is my friend with benefits.

• "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." You can still teach Old Doug new tricks, though. Tricks like "hide my stash" and "say this is your car." Old Doug loves learning new tricks. And living in my basement.

• "Time to fight fire with fire." Time to file for unemployment, Ex-Worst-Firefighter-Ever.

• "The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn't exist." OH. And that one, the one where he asks you to pick a card and not tell him what it is. He's all like, "Is this your card?" Even though he knows it's not your card, and then he reaches into YOUR COAT POCKET and HOLY BALLS YOUR CARD WAS IN YOUR COAT POCKET. How did he DO THAT?

• "Slow and steady wins the race." Unless we're talking about one of those crazy races where the emphasis is on SPEED. How about "Fast and without a ton of hubris wins the race" for a novel update?

• "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." And that step is logging on to Expedia to see who has the cheapest airfare.

Andrew R. Juhl isn't an idiom, you oxymoronic proverb.

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• Book Babies, 10:30 a.m., Iowa City Public Library, 123 S. Linn
• Hallelujah Chorus Sing-Along, noon, UIHC Colloton Atrium
• Chess Group, 1 p.m., Uptown Bill’s, 730 S. Dubuque
• Knitting Nurse, 2-4 p.m., Home Ec Workshop, 207 N. Linn
• First Friday Coffeehouse, Iowa Humane Alliance Fundraiser, 5:30 p.m., Beadology, 220 E. Washington
• Graduate College Commencement Ceremony, 7 p.m., Carver-Hawkeye Arena
Annie, 7:30 p.m., Iowa City Community Theater, Johnson County Fairgrounds, 4265 Oak Crest Hill Road
A Christmas Carol, City Circle, 7:30 p.m., Coralville Center for the Performing Arts, 1301 Fifth St.
• Tallgrass, Iowa Shares Benefit, 8 p.m., Englert, 221 E. Washington
• Item 9 & the Mad Hatters CD Release Party, 9 p.m., Gabe’s, 330 E. Washington
• Salsa, 9 p.m., Wildwood, 4919 Walleye N.E.
• Scholars and Tyrants, 10 p.m., Yacht Club, 13 S. Linn

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